Truly Madly Deeply
by Dragon Fire10
Summary: He never stopped to think what his life would be like without her. He never dreamed she would lose hope and find her dream in someone else. A Yuki/Soujiroh story.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything related to Hana Yori Dango

**A/N: **Just a short note to let you know this is strictly drama-verse. Also, for those who never read my HP fanfics, I will tell you…my prologues? They are always ALWAYS some little tidbit in the middle to the end of the story.

Also, and this is important. I posted the prologue on my LJ as well as here. After this first original post I will always post on my LJ first...possibly a week ahead of time so that I will always be one to two chapter ahead on my LJ. You are welcome to read there as well ( ravenesquesky dot livejournal dot com I should have the first chapter up on there soon.

_Prologue_

There was a reason he always ran from her. Running was easier than facing her and facing the truth of what he saw in her eyes. She wasn't like the others. She never would be. The day he stopped running from her would be the day he had to admit no other woman could do…that there would always only be one. He closed his eyes as the music started. Today was the day. He was trapped, unable to run. He was forced to stand at that altar and watch his little piece of heaven turn to dust.

Soujiroh opened his eyes and turned to the sound of the guests gasping in delight at the beauty of the bride. She stood at the end of the aisle, her dress a gorgeous gathering of material. The straps were nothing more than delicate pieces of material that sat on her shoulders as if nothing more than a gentle caress. The bodice fit her perfectly and Soujiroh had no doubt who helped choose the dress.

His eyes could not leave her though. Each delicate step down the aisle seemed to send another stab of pain through his heart. Was this how Yuki always felt when she saw him with others? Did her stomach feel heavy as if pieces of her heart were being chipped away and filling her gut with the cold contents of what remained? He felt the chills to the bone.

He didn't deserve her.

He would never deserve anyone as sweet and loving as Yuki. How could he? He had her. She was there, presenting herself to him nearly on a daily basis, making it perfectly clear how she felt and that she was simply waiting for him. What did he do? He pushed her away time and again. He ran from her.

And finally, she ran to someone else.

Soujiroh swallowed the lump in his throat as he watched Yuki smile up at Akira before facing the preacher. The words of the preacher meant very little to Soujiroh. He was aware the old man was speaking, but his words were incoherent, Soujiroh's brain refusing to decipher any meaning to them.

Love was irrational…there was no logic to it at all. That was the only thing that could explain Soujiroh's sudden desire to run, not from Yuki, but _to_ her. It was the only excuse he had for why he felt such a strong need to run from the church with his best friend's bride.

Even his heart pounded at an irrational pace.

As the bride and groom turned to face one another, Soujiroh's eyes glanced over the guests, coming to a stop on a young woman sitting there smiling at him in a way that normally would have him flirting. He stopped. Frozen. She smiled and waved slightly. A cold chill traveled through Soujiroh's body. She wouldn't do…not anymore…none of them. Only one would do. His eyes slowly shifted to the couple at the altar.

Yuki's bright innocent face looked up into Akira's and her eyes shifted, ever so slightly. But that shift was all it took for her bright eyes to meet Soujiroh's smoldering ones over Akira's shoulder. All it took was that one little shift of her eyes to send Soujiroh forward, knocking accidentally into Akira as he grabbed Yuki's hand and ran down the aisle with her.

He would face her…before she became his best friend's wife, he would look her in the eyes and stop running away.


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Not mine...obviously

**A/N: **Drama verse of course.

**Chapter One**

Twenty-three.

She looked at him, batting her eyelashes. Her tantalizing giggle told Soujiroh she was number twenty-three. His finger tips danced up her arm as his smile made a million promises he had no intention of keeping. His whispered words sent chills through her body. He leaned forward, his lips barely caressing her ear as he whispered.

"Ichi-go ichi-e."

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Rui and Makino walked behind them already deep in their own conversation, probably discussing who last heard from Tsukasa. Though, Akira often wondered if Rui had really given up on her. With Tsukasa gone out of the country for who knew how many years really, Akira was willing to bet the fight for her affections was not over, even with the ring on her finger.

The girl walking next to him was quiet, lost in her own world with a subtle smile on her delicate face. Akira knew where her mind was, where her heart was. It was always with him and Soujiroh was a fool to ignore it. Any idiot could see what this young woman would do for him. She was doing everything she could to turn herself into a woman befitting Nishikado Soujiroh. And Akira would watch his friend pacify her with smiles and false hope in one moment while running from her in the next moment as if she were some disease determined to bring him to his knees.

Yuki was Soujiroh's stopping point and he just wasn't ready to face that. Akira wondered if he ever would be.

Akira saw them first and cringed on the inside at what the vision would do to Yuki, but it wasn't the first time such a scene was thrust upon her.

The black car was parked, the driver waiting for its passenger. Soujiroh had the young woman pressed against the car. She giggled as Soujiroh's fingertips caressed her neck and his eyes danced with the mischievousness of what he had already done.

"Hey! Soujiroh!"

Akira called out to get his attention. When Soujiroh turned slightly to look at his friend, Akira's eyes shifted to Yuki as if telling Soujiroh he wasn't alone. Through the black hair that had fallen in his eyes, Soujiroh glanced at Yuki and then scowled at Akira. What did it matter if Yuki was there? She knew what he was like; she was even warned. It wasn't his fault she simply wouldn't give up. Soujiroh turned back to the young woman and kissed her fingertips gently as he opened the car door for her.

"He will drive you where you need to go," he said. "I'll call."

Akira's eyes shifted back to Yuki. It was too late. She was already stepping back slightly, as if to hide in the shadows of the friends around her. It wasn't the first time Akira had witnessed such a reaction. When faced with the many women Soujiroh was with, she often seemed to shrink away. She wasn't like the others.

She could never compare to those women and deep down she regretted that. Yuki blinked at the scene before her. She couldn't help but wonder if that would be the girl he'd put on his bike with him. She didn't want to be there. Being there, watching him with her was like forcing her to compare herself to that woman. Yuki looked away. She knew in comparison she was nothing more than a little girl with a crush. At least, that was how Soujiroh would see it.

The car pulled away, revealing Soujiroh's motorcycle parked behind it. He stepped from the curb, his eyes on Akira as if trying to communicate something.

"Hello, Nishikado-san!"

Yuki jumped forward, her bright smile trying to hide the stabbing she felt in her heart. She blinked, hoping no tears would fall. It was best when facing him to pretend nothing had just happened, to play ignorant. Soujiroh's lips quirked up slowly into a smile that sent her heart a flutter.

"Yuki-chan," he said with a slight bow of his head.

Her smile grew wider and her face lit up even brighter as if that one smile held all her hopes. She turned and grabbed Makino's arm, linking their arms together as they moved forward ahead of the guys. Rui and Akira stood there looking at each other and then at Soujiroh.

"What?" Soujiroh noticed the looks he was getting.

"What are you doing?"

Soujiroh's face turned sour at Akira's question. It was _this_ again. He shook his head.

"I'm not getting into this with you again, Akira. She knows what I am. I have no claim on her and she has none on me. There is nothing between us and she knows it."

Rui shook his head and looked ahead at the girls as he began to follow them. Akira still stood there looking at Soujiroh as if seeing him in a different light.

"You keep giving her hope, Soujiroh. How is that fair? After everything she does to try to meet your standards…"

"Then," Soujiroh interrupted. "Perhaps I should just disappear from her sight."

"Perhaps you should," Akira said as he past Soujiroh to catch up with Rui.

Rui had stopped walking and was watching his two friends. It wasn't like Akira to get upset. He was always the peacemaker. Ahead of Rui, the girls had stopped and turned. The bright smile on Yuki's face was starting to fade as she looked between Soujiroh and Akira. Something was going on there, she just didn't know what. Whatever it was seemed to have passed as Akira caught up with Rui and Soujiroh soon followed.

They were only thirty minutes into the movie before Yuki's mind began to wander from the story line to the F4 member to her right. Before the movie was over, she would have his profile memorized. The changing light of the movie screen gave him a luminescent quality. The memory of his every line would be burned into her memory and heart.

Soujiroh suddenly shifted in his seat, gently moving a piece of hair back from his face. Yuki turned to see what the sudden movement was about. His eyes were not on the movie screen nor were they on her, but then they rarely were. On the other side of the row they sat in was a girl sitting with her friend giggling. It was Soujiroh's typical type, beautiful, thin; Yuki shook her head and looked away as Soujiroh winked at them. She couldn't watch, not again.

Yuki shifted slightly in her seat, trying to get the scene unfolding out of even her peripheral vision. It was nothing she had never witnessed before, but each time it seemed to hurt a little more. She was never the one. She was just the silly girl with a little crush. She bit down, clinching her jaw trying to keep the hurt from overcoming her. At least here no one was likely to see her cry. And then she heard him stand up and could not resist turning, just to be sure. The two girls had stood up as well and were waiting outside the row now. As Soujiroh approached, words Yuki could not hear were exchanged and she watched him walk out of the theatre with a girl on each arm.

She felt nauseated.

Her stomach did an odd flip before it felt as if her heart had just sunk to the bottom of it, to sit there like led.

"Yuki-chan, do you feel alright?"

Akira was leaning forward slightly to get a look at her face. She looked pale, ill. All she could do was shake her head in response, not trusting her voice to sound even or unaffected in the least.

"Would you like me to take you home?"

Makino and Rui noticed something was going on and was now leaning forward in their seats as well. Yuki put the best smile she could on her face, but Makino was not slow. Her eyes landed on the now empty seat next to Yuki and understanding dawned on her features.

"No, I'm fine." Yuki was insistent enough that Akira left it alone.

Makino was staying at Yuki's house that night.

Yuki lay on her bed in her room, the darkness surrounding her as she fought for sleep. Her mind wouldn't rest though. No matter what, when she closed her eyes she would see Soujiroh smiling at her and then she would see him leaving the theatre with those two women. Each replay tore a little more of her heart apart.

The moonlight trickled into her room and cast a glow on a table where her chawan sat, blue tranquil flowers decorating it in serenity. She could study for lifetime and would still never be Soujiroh's equivalent in tea ceremony. He was born into it. Her eyes landed on a slight chip on the edge from a fumbling disaster at the beginning. Next to that chipped chawan sat a newer one of the same pattern. Still, it was the chipped one that called for her attention.

She would never meet Soujiroh's standards.

Only a daughter of an equivalent family could offer such standards.

Yuki swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes.

"Maybe it's time to stop."

Makino's voice was soft, being late and not wanting to wake Yuki's parents. Her voice floated up from the floor where she slept on a futon. Yuki was quiet for a moment, taken unawares that Makino was still awake.

"What do you mean?" She knew what Makino meant, but needed to hear it from someone other than her own mind.

"Soujiroh-san," Makino said. "Maybe it's time to give up. He's hurting you. If he's too stupid to realize what he has right in front of him, then it's his loss."

Makino's conviction in her tone made Yuki smile ever so slightly. Her eyes landed back on the chawan.

"Even if it takes a lifetime, Tsukushi. I will not give up. Just once, that's all I ask…for him to look at me just once and see me."

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Akira came close to begging. His plan had been simple. Tsukasa was one of them…an F4. So, naturally Makino was one of them even if it was only through her relationship, or theory of one, through Tsukasa. That meant Yuki was their friend as well. And currently one of their friends, Yuki, was suffering from a heartache that only another love could cure.

Rui sat across the table calmly sipping his tea and listening to Akira. Even as Akira rounded up his little speech and his plan, Rui simply looked calmly over the rim of his tea cup before sitting it down with his composed response.

"No."

Akira sighed in frustration.

"Come on, Rui. She's a friend. You can't do something for someone other than Makino?"

"Do what for whom?" Soujiroh stepped up to the table, helmet swinging in his hand, waving a server down for a cup of tea as he sat down.

The tea was quickly brought and Soujiroh brought it to his lips wrinkling his nose slightly at the taste as he looked between his friends. Rui took another sip of his own tea before setting the cup down and answering to Soujiroh's curiosity.

"Akira thought the best way to get Yuki-chan to stop chasing you was for her to find another love…me."

Soujiroh nearly dropped his tea cup. The tea splashed over the edge slightly as the cup clattered back onto its saucer sloppily. With a furrowed brow, Soujiroh wiped his hands off with a napkin and turned his scowl to Akira.

"NO," he said more firmly than he intended.

Rui looked to Soujiroh almost insulted, but Soujiroh was already standing up to leave, motorcycle helmet in hand. Akira and Rui quickly followed him out, paying for their tea along the way.

"Why not, Soujiroh?" Akira was curious. If he found Yuki so bothersome shouldn't he be thrilled to be rid of her attention?

Soujiroh threw one leg over his bike, putting his helmet on.

"It won't work," Soujiroh replied, calmer sounding than what he was moments ago.

"It won't work?" Akira was curious about this.

Soujiroh looked between his two friends. The thought of Yuki falling for Rui made him angry for some reason. He simply would not stand for it. How long before Rui fell for yet another girl? And wasn't he still head over heels for Makino? It would just hurt Yuki in the end.

"Do you know how many times I've tried to steer her in the direction of others? It never works. Just let her be."

He started his motorcycle, revving the engine some. Akira shook his head.

"You can't have it both ways, Soujiroh."

With a smile and a wink, Soujiroh sped off into traffic disappearing within seconds.

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She bowed, her formal greeting pouring from her lips in a quiet soft caress.

"Such a polite child, Akiko!"

Natsumi smiled upon Yuki, offering her own greeting in return. Natsumi and Akiko smiled at each other. It had been years since they last saw each other. If Natsumi remembered correctly, it was college, right before they both married and moved on with their lives. As life often went, they grew apart and lost contact. Childhood friends lost in the shuffle of life.

Natsumi was overjoyed when she ran across Akiko outside the old café they would frequent as college students. She had gone there for a bite and for the nostalgic feeling of her college years. She had been thinking of Akiko and possibly using the resources at her disposal to find her. She reminisced over their conversations about their dreams while studying, the men they hoped to marry, the children they wished to have. So it was quite a surprise when she stepped out of the café only to find Akiko walking by.

The comfort in their friendship was still there.

Natsumi smiled as their families sat down together in the restaurant. Their husbands were already in conversation telling each other about their businesses and establishing a connection they knew their wives would wish for. As Natsumi and Akiko talked, trying desperately to catch up a lifetime of events in the few hours they would have at dinner, her eyes continuously turned to watch Yuki.

She was such a lovely girl, so polite, never interrupted. Akiko did quite well in raising her and Natsumi could not help but feel slightly jealous that this was her friend's daughter. Akiko had said something about the girl taking classes in tea ceremony. She could offer help to the child. After all, being her best friend's daughter already made her feel like one of her own. Natsumi looked around the restaurant.

"I am terribly sorry for my son." She apologized for his lateness. There were times she just wanted to smack him senseless. She was not stupid to her son's behavior. It concerned her, always chasing women, well not chasing as they seemed to line up to be added to the ever growing list.

She tried to remember if any woman had ever sparked his interest beyond the obvious one. She recalled overhearing a piece of conversation between him and one of his friends about a girl. Her son seemed quite agitated and that alone sparked a hope within her that there was indeed someone out there her son had strong feelings for. Why had she not met her?

Yuki cleared her throat and bowed her head slightly, excusing herself before she stood up and left for the ladies room.

"You must be so proud of her," Natsumi said to Akiko as Yuki disappeared down the small hallway leading to the restrooms.

Akiko agreed she was and began speaking more about her daughter, everything from how she seems so taken with her tea ceremony classes to her job. The women were still talking when Natsumi's son walked up to the table, bowing and apologizing for his tardiness. Next to him his friend bowed and apologizing as well, explaining the tardiness was his doing.

Natsumi eyed the boys and then waved for the waiter to add another setting to the table.

"You will join us, Akira-san?"

He politely accepted the invitation and Soujiroh sighed in relief. When his mother told him they were having a dinner with a childhood friend of hers and her family, which included a daughter, Soujiroh could see the wheels turning in his mother's head. And true to what he thought she would do, she was very quick to instruct her son to take the seat next to her friend's daughter's empty seat. He eyed his mother suspiciously and then turned to give his friend a look that communicated an earlier conversation. Natsumi spent the time that Yuki was away in the ladies room to tell Soujiroh what a lovely young woman Akiko's daughter was, so polite, taking tea ceremony classes, and pretty too. Soujiroh felt the noose tightening.

"Oh, you're back! Perfect timing," Natsumi exclaimed upon seeing the young woman approach the table. She set a look upon her son that told him he was expected to be the gentlemen.

Soujiroh pushed his chair back, standing to his full height. His black hair fell forward slightly as he reached down to take the back of the young woman's chair and pull it out for her.

"Yuki-chan?"

Akira had looked and taken note of the fact that it was Yuki and that Soujiroh was not looking at the young woman to have noticed.

"Akira-san! Nishikado-san!"

Soujiroh's eyes slowly drifted from his hands on the back of the chair to the young woman standing there, her eyes filled with the light of hope. His grip on the chair tightened, his fingertips turning white.

"Yuki-chan, you already know my son and his friend?"


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **We all know I don't own this

**A/N: **Don't forget this is strictly drama-verse! And please don't forget to review...it really helps! Also, I just posted chapter four on my LJ if you would like to read and please comment if you do!

**Chapter Two**

It was only a matter of time before she would be faced with his back as he left the restaurant. She knew that from the moment he looked down and saw her. It didn't stop her from feeling that overwhelming hope that would keep that smile on her face or the fluttering feeling of butterflies at just sitting beside him. She may have sat through dinner merrily conversing with her mother, Natsumi and Akira on occasion with the smile of one filled with a naïve hope, but it didn't stop her from knowing. She could feel it, the tension that surrounded Soujiroh—the wall that immediately emerged at seeing her.

And it didn't help that Natsumi was overjoyed that Yuki already knew her son and his friends. She even went as far as to ask Soujiroh why she had never met Yuki through him prior to this joyous reunion of her and Akiko's. Soujiroh did not fumble nervously over his words. It was as if he had the answer planned just in case such an occasion arouse.

"Yuki-chan is a friend of Makino's and that has been the extent of our relation. There has never been any reason to bring her to you for introduction."

The answer seemed sufficient enough for his mother. Next to him Akira cringed slightly at his words and nudged his foot. Soujiroh looked from Akira to Yuki on his other side. She was smiling still, but behind the smile was a disappointed sadness.

As dinner progressed the conversation across the table grew. Natsumi and Akiko shared their stories of their youth with their children and friend. Soujiroh could not help but to laugh at some of the stories trying to imagine the woman that married his father doing some of the things she had done. Yuki held her breath as Soujiroh's hand hung onto the back of her chair. If she moved slightly back against the chair, his fingertips would brush her back. Just the thought gave her chills. The warm rich sound of his laughter next to her filled her with overwhelming warmth.

Natsumi and Akiko were in heaven rehashing their time together with their children sitting across from them. As the dinner plates were cleared away the mothers believed it was time to leave their children alone. They rose with their husbands.

"Order some desert. The bill will be taken care of," Natsumi said eyeing her son.

Yuki, Soujiroh and Akira watched the parents leave the restaurant. Soujiroh dropped his hand from the back of Yuki's chair and leaned forward on the table slightly, looking back at Yuki and winking.

"Would you like some desert, Yuki-chan?"

She seemed to fumble over her words, which only made Soujiroh smile wider.

"N-no, thank you Nishikado-san."

With a smile still on his face, Soujiroh sat back in his chair, eyes traveling to a woman that had been sitting at the bar the whole time they ate. He smiled at her in a way he had never smiled at Yuki. The sounds of the clinking dishes and low conversation of the restaurant seemed to fade into a murmur as she watched the exchange. She could feel the tears stinging her eyes and hear the sound of Makino's voice in her head.

_"Maybe it's time to stop."_

Yuki could not tear her eyes away. Maybe Makino was right. Every time they were out he seemed to leave with someone new. That was how Soujiroh was. She knew how many girlfriends he had. Did she really want to be another number? Her eyes followed the contours of his profile, noting the slight quirk of his lip, turning his smile into a slight smirk. She felt the wave of emotion flood her. For a moment it was as if she were breathless. It was like having all her air knocked out of her. That smile was not for her. It was for the young woman now moving her purse from the seat next to her, letting Soujiroh know the seat was for him. No, Yuki did not want to be another number; she wanted to be the only one.

"She was waiting for you the whole time," Akira said.

It wasn't a question, more a statement of disbelief. Soujiroh actually had one of his girlfriends waiting at the bar for him to finish up the family obligation. Soujiroh smiled and stood up excusing himself rather politely for Yuki's sake. Her eyes followed his lithe figure as it moved across the restaurant and watched despite the horrifying pain as his lips met with the woman's neck and her giggle drifted to where Yuki sat with Akira. In her mind all she could see was the chipped chawan sitting in the shadows of her room.

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It had been at least two weeks since the dinner when he last saw Yuki. It was long enough that Akira stopped giving him a hard time and his mother had finally ceased asking the same question over and over (_why have you not introduced me to Yuki-chan before now?_) and long enough that when he sent her a text message to meet him he could envision the excitement rolling off her. He didn't think about the noise he would experience from Akira. His friend had taken quite an unhealthy interest in his and Yuki's friendship. And that was all it was. Could he really be blamed if the girl wanted more knowing she could have no more?

When Soujiroh pulled up to the curb to park, Yuki was already bouncing over to him, her hair swinging against her back, her smile wide and her eyes bright with hope.

"Nishikado-san!"

He winked at her as he got off his bike.

"Yuki-chan," he said with a smile.

That seemed to be all it took for her to smile brighter. Soujiroh smiled down at Yuki and motioned ahead.

"Shall we, Yuki-chan?"

She nodded enthusiastically and fell into step next to Soujiroh, who was walking slow in order to ensure she could stay caught up. Her heart pounded walking next to him. If she ever thought about following Makino's advice and giving up, it was times like this that renewed her hope. The interest he seemed to take in her every day life when he would ask her how her tea ceremony class was going. The way he would smile down at her when she was overwhelmed with happiness already. All she could do was hope that he would notice her…notice her as someone other than Makino's friend…notice all the little things she did in hopes he would love her…some day.

He opened the door to a shop and waited for Yuki to enter. She smiled as she walked through the door, taking note of the chawans that filled the store. A man behind a counter came around.

"Nishikado-san! What a pleasure! Can I help you find anything?"

Soujiroh smiled down at the short man and nodded.

"My friend has been taking a tea ceremony class for about a year now. I wish to purchase a chawan as a gift."

Surprise spread over the man's face. Yuki had the feeling the store keeper knew Soujiroh quite well. His eyes turned to Yuki and seemed to look her over before a huge smile spread across his face and he quickly turned to several displays only to have Soujiroh say no to all of them.

"Those were all quite beautiful, Nishikado-san. This really isn't necessary."

Soujiroh smiled down at her.

"I want something special for you, Yuki-chan," he said as he looked around the store.

"I have just the thing," the shop keeper said smiling slightly at the blush on Yuki's cheeks.

He disappeared through a door in the back. Soujiroh moved to the counter, leaning slightly against it as he watch Yuki's eyes travel over the chawans in the shop, fingers gliding over some of the more beautiful ones. His mother had been talking about the fact that she was taking a tea ceremony class for days now. It seemed to thrill his mother to no end that she had an interest in such things. He wondered how his mother would react if she knew Yuki's interest was only because of the words he spoke.

He had to admit, she was trying so hard. But she simply was not his type. He would not add her to the numbers of girlfriends he had and when Akira mentioned the idea of Rui courting her to get her off his back, he didn't know what to do. He didn't want Yuki hurt by someone still hung up on her friend.

"Here we go. The only one like it," the shopkeeper said as he pulled the chawan out of a box and sat it upon the counter.

The cream colored chawan was beautifully decorated with red and white flowers…the contrast eye catching and stunning. When Soujiroh looked at the chawan and turned to see Yuki, stunned and slowly walking toward it, he knew.

"I'll take it," he said to the shopkeeper.

When they stepped out of the shop, Soujiroh handed the package to Yuki. She looked down shyly as he climbed onto his motorcycle.

"Thank you, Nishikado-san!" She was enthusiastic as always as she bowed slightly.

"You're welcome, Yuki-chan." He winked at her as he drove off into traffic.

Soujiroh couldn't say why he felt the desire to buy her a chawan. He knew she had one, but it had been about a year since she had started the class and he couldn't help but feel a bit proud of the young girl who was trying to hard to become something for him. He couldn't find it in himself to be willing to add her to the growing number of girlfriends he had and had a feeling she wouldn't stand for being one of many. And that was all she could possibly be. So it was best to be friends only. He would buy any of his friends taking a tea ceremony class the same chawan.

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She was almost late. When Yuki entered the café her mother and Natsumi were already sitting down, sipping on their own cups of tea. Yuki rushed up to the table, flushed and smiling like a jackal. Akiko looked her daughter over. She knew some young man had captured her daughter's heart, but never had Yuki spoken to her about him. She didn't even know his name. Yuki was apologizing profusely when both women noticed the package in her hand.

As Yuki sat down, Natsumi pointed at the box, recognizing the name of the store on the logo.

"Is this why you were late, Yuki-chan?" Yuki looked as Natsumi and nodded in agreement, looking down into her teacup feeling guilty about it.

"It was a gift," Yuki elaborated, not wanting her mother to wonder where she got the money for such a package.

"May we see it?" Natsumi's eyes were alight with excitement and pleasure.

Yuki smiled brightly and opened the package, gently pulling the chawan out of its protection. Natsumi's mouth fell open as she observed the chawan.

"I know this maker," she said in aw. "You will never find another chawan like it. Whoever gave you this gift must think you very special."

Akiko's head popped up toward her daughter.

"Who gave this to you, Yuki-chan?" Akiko had a feeling it was that young man, the one she started taking the tea ceremony classes for.

Yuki fidgeted, looking overly nervously and almost frightened to tell them who. She remembered Soujiroh lying at dinner about the extent of their friendship, but maybe that was how Soujiroh saw it. Maybe he wasn't hiding anything from his mother; he simply didn't see it the same way.

"Nishikado-san gave it to me," she said in a quiet voice.

Natsumi stared at Yuki with a huge smile; Akiko dropped her tea cup to her saucer.

"My Soujiroh gave this to you?" Natsumi wanted to be sure she understood the girl correctly.

Yuki nodded unsure of herself.

"Yuki," her mother said. "Is Soujiroh-san the young man you began taking your tea ceremony class for?"

Yuki stared at her mother with wide eyes and disbelief that she had just so openly asked her such a question in front of Soujiroh's mother.

"I suppose we know the answer to that one," Natsumi said giggling into her tea.

As Yuki packed the chawan up carefully, Natsumi and Akiko looked at each other with smiles over the rim of their tea cups. They were not stupid. Natsumi knew at dinner that night that her son was lying about the extent of his friendship with Yuki. Her guess was he didn't want to see anything beyond mere acquaintance to it himself, so that was how he would describe it. Even Akira looked taken aback at his pronouncement of such a distant friendship. She began to wonder if her son were good enough for Yuki, but Yuki was just what her son needed. A nice girl, one that looks at Soujiroh and doesn't see the yen he's bound to possess, one that actually cares for him.

An hour later found Yuki standing in front of a mirror staring at herself. She had already tried on more dresses than she had ever owned in her life, but Natsumi and her mother seemed intent on finding the perfect dress for Natsumi's upcoming anniversary party. Akiko ran to grab yet another dress while Yuki turned in the mirror, trying to get a look at all angles of herself in the mirror.

"Just give him time, Yuki-chan," Natsumi said.

Yuki stopped her movement and turned to look at Natsumi curious as to where her line of thought was.

"My son," she elaborated. "Just give him time. One day he'll grow tired of the games and realize there was always only one by his side."

Yuki shook her head, not believing such a day would ever come.

"Don't be silly, Yuki-chan. He gave you such a rare chawan. He already holds you in a higher regard than those other girls."

Outside the shop Soujiroh stood still, staring into the window at the women inside. His mother fussed over Yuki in a dress. They were trying to decide if it was the right one, he knew that, but the scene seemed to stop him in his tracks. There seemed to be something serious his mother was saying, he knew that look and Yuki was shaking her head no with a look of pure shock mingled with disbelief on her face.

Yuki grew still as his mother spoke. Yuki glanced down shaking her head slightly and when she looked back up Soujiroh felt that jolt in his gut, the same jolt he felt in the car that time he saw her crying on the corner. It happened every time he saw her tears. He wished he knew what was being said before he burst into the shop to find out who he had to threaten now. But Yuki seemed to laugh it off as she wiped her tears away and his mother smiled at her knowingly as she pulled Yuki into a motherly hug.

Soujiroh felt that panic. The panic he felt at times when faced with Yuki and he suddenly turned on his heels and walked at a quick pace down the street, as far away from Yuki and his mother as possible.

"Hey! Soujiroh!" Akira had walked up as Soujiroh turned and ran from the scene in the shop, a scene Akira had taken the time to glance in to see.

Soujiroh slowed and turned around, still walking backwards as Akira caught up to him. Once he caught up, Soujiroh turned so that they were walking side by side.

"By the looks of it back there," Akira said. "Your mother is already trying to marry you off to Yuki-chan."

Soujiroh stopped and glared at Akira.

"That's not funny."

But Akira couldn't help but to chuckle.

"You run from her whenever you are faced with Yuki-chan as more than a simple acquaintance," Akira said still chuckling. "If she wasn't so in love with you this wouldn't be a problem. She just needs a new love." Akira wasn't chuckling anymore. His eyes cut to Soujiroh as if waging his reaction. "One that will love her back. She deserves at least that."

"And who would that be?" Soujiroh stopped and looked at Akira. "In case you have forgotten, Rui is still chasing after Makino." Soujiroh started to walk again and then suddenly stopped turning around to look at his friend who hadn't moved yet.

"Wait a minute," Soujiroh said. "I haven't seen you with any older married women lately." Soujiroh stepped closer to his friend. "_You?__ You _want to be the one to charm her away from me?"

Akira rolled his eyes.

"She's not yours to charm her away from, Soujiroh."


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to Hana Yori Dango!

**A/N: **Don't forget this is drama-verse

**Chapter Three**

He was an enigma. Where his parents mingled with their party guests, graciously accepting their congratulations on such a long and happy marriage, Soujiroh sauntered through the party followed by the giggling sounds of the girls he had yet to add to his numbers. These girls were the daughters of people associated with his family. They knew nothing of the handsome Nishikado heir. And as he past groups of these young women he would flash his smile or offer a wink and set them off into giggles and blushes. It was too easy with these girls, just like the others. Still, when they looked at him they saw his monetary worth, they knew what came with being the wife of Nishikado-san and if that meant first being the one of many they were fine with that.

Soujiroh simply enjoyed the game.

He was not looking for a wife among them; one would more than likely be chosen for him. And that was fine with him. He was a collector after all, collecting these women like trophies, treating the one on his arm as precious as the one on his other arm. How could he ever choose one? Each one was unique in her own way and yet they all seemed to possess the same qualities, the playfulness, and the willingness to do whatever he wished.

Still, he had to be careful at such a gathering. Many of these young women were business associate's daughters. He had to pick and choose his toys for the evening carefully. He had to search, keep his eyes open for the ones that knew the game. And it didn't take him long to have a small collection of about six gathered around him, giggling, willing participants in his game.

The party was a magnificent swirl of activity from the moment Yuki entered. Her entrance was not some grand production, garnering the attention of all the male guests as if she were in some fairy tale. Her entrance did garner the attention of Nishikado Natsumi, who rushed over, taking her by the arm and leading Yuki right into the middle of the activities. Akiko smiled and followed, already in conversation with her friend.

Every guest that approached to congratulate Natsumi and her husband was introduced to Yuki. With each introduction, Yuki grew more and more nervous. The looks the fathers, mothers and their daughters gave her as they met…the once over as if evaluating how much of a threat this slip of a girl was to them and the relief that seemed to pass over all their faces, determining she was no threat at all. How could she be?

Yuki's eyes wandered over the crowd of guests, admittedly looking for just a glimpse Soujiroh. Her neck stretched, and she lifted herself slightly on her tiptoes trying to see even farther over the sea of people.

"Yuki-chan, are you looking for Soujiroh?"

Yuki jumped, fumbling over her words, her cheeks flushed with color. Natsumi giggled and patted the young woman on the bare shoulder.

"It's quite alright," Natsumi said.

"Yuki-chan!"

Natsumi turned to see who had approached them. Yuki's large eyes turned and at the sight of Akira standing before her, the anxiety in them seemed to dwindle away.

"Akira-san!"

Her smile was contagious. Akira couldn't help but to smile at the young woman. With a slight bow he offered her his arm.

"Shall we?"

Natsumi observed Akira for a moment. She was not blind to her son's friends or to their little idiosyncrasies. She knew Akira was typically seen with older married women, but he seemed to have bypassed several to reach Yuki. She smiled, slightly, looking down at the length of her gown and nodded. Natsumi and Akiko both watched Akira lead Yuki to the dance floor. Natsumi's eyes started scanning the crowd looking for her son. Perhaps this is what he needed…a wake up call…a slap in the face…someone else interested in Yuki-chan.

His fingers danced seductively up her arm, his lips caressed the other girl's neck causing both girls to giggle in delight. So easy.

"No one knows who she is exactly, yet everyone is talking about her."

Soujiroh turned to the young woman who had just returned from the lady's room and smiled at her soft pout. Turning his attention toward her, the charm rolled off him, his hand caressing her cheek, his teeth nibbling her pouty lip.

"Oh no need to be upset, Beautiful. Could she compare to you?"

He had heard the other girls whispering about the unknown guest and simply found it to be another reason to caress, kiss, shower them with attention and watch them blossom, unfold in his hands. It no longer mattered who the unknown guest was because Nishikado Soujiroh was giving them all the attention he had.

"That's her," one of the girls said.

Another looked up and Soujiroh could see her face brighten slightly.

"Kawaii! They are simply adorable together!"

Another of his girls turned to look.

"He holds her like a precious doll!"

And collectively a sigh escaped every one of his girls. Soujiroh had known from the start who the mystery girl was. It was only Yuki, no one for these girls to be so worried about and it seemed they no longer were. Someone else at the party had Yuki's attention. At the exclamation of one of his girls though, Soujiroh found himself turning to look for himself, heart pounding oddly in his chest, and wondering who had captured Yuki's attention so.

Soujiroh had never been slapped in the face. If he happened to anger a young lady he was always…always able to charm his way out of trouble and back into her good graces. It really didn't take much on his part, just the right smile, possibly a wink, the right caress…really too easy. So, when Soujiroh turned to see Yuki he really didn't know how to react. He imagined it was like being slapped in the face, the stunned, can't move for a moment feeling…the overwhelming shock of it all stunning him into silence.

Her sage colored dress flowed to the ground and with every turn the skirt seemed to float around her like an apparition. The fitted bodice and hips of the dress made it appear to be made just for her and no other. The back of the dress came down into a V and that was where Soujiroh's eyes landed, on her dance partner's hand, splayed across that bare portion, but ever so lightly as if he were afraid of breaking her. Soujiroh shook his head. Everywhere her dance partner touched her was gentle, cautious like that…like she was some precious rare porcelain doll he was granted permission to hold, but only for a short time.

If seeing Yuki like that was a slap in the face, then seeing who was doing the holding was a punch in the gut. He had said something that amused her because Soujrioh heard her giggle ever so slightly and look down as if embarrassed and the warm laughter of his closest friend, Akira drifted to his ears alerting him that his eyes had not deceived him. Akira was the one holding Yuki like some precious doll.

Soujiroh did not realize how silent everything was to him…everything, except for any sound from Yuki or Akira until it all came rushing back to him.

"Nishikado-san," one of the girls whined.

He blinked and turned to look at the precious girl.

"Don't worry, Beautiful. She is nothing more than the daughter of an old family friend." He stood up and turned to look at the dancing couple again. "Who I am obligated to dance with at least once, you understand?" He turned back to flash his dashing smile to the girls. They all nodded in understanding, but still slightly pouting and batting their eyelashes as if that alone would remind him to come back to them.

At that moment it seemed to be one of the longest walks of Soujiroh's life. The more steps he took the farther away she seemed to drift. Akira's head was bent slightly, pulling him down closer to Yuki as he whispered unknown words to her. Whatever he said made her giggle and the sound filled Soujiroh with an incomprehensible anger. Her shoulders bare with the exception of the straps of her dress, shook delicately with her laughter.

"Yuki-chan."

Soujiroh stopped behind her. Akira's head slowly raised, his eyes glancing over Yuki's shoulder and resting on Soujiroh, taking in everything about his friend from his stance to the crease of anxiety in his brow. When Akira stopped dancing, Yuki turned to face Soujiroh. She took in every inch of his appearance in one sweeping glance, everything from the way his dark hair framed his face, one unruly piece falling forward when he looked down at her and the quirk of his lips when they fought the desire to forewarn her with a small almost suggestive grin that he was going to wink at her. When he didn't seem ready to say anything, she grew nervous, fidgeting with her dress and looking down at her feet with a nervous smile.

"I promised my mother I would dance with you," Soujiroh said as he took Yuki's hand and led her away from Akira.

It was strange how he could do that, make a simple statement of fact and yet it seemed to slice through her heart and take a chunk with each word. Still, her hand tingled where he held it and she held her breath for a moment when her heart felt as if it would pound out of her chest. For a moment she felt like Cinderella and the charming prince had finally taken notice of her. But his words, they still lingered in her mind nicking little pieces of her heart with each replay. She was his obligation to his mother tonight.

Soujiroh turned, pulling Yuki a bit closer, but making sure to keep a certain distance as if intent on keeping her at arms length. He began to move across the floor.

"Nishikado-san, you don't have to dance with me," Yuki said so softly he almost didn't catch it. She didn't want to be an obligation. She wanted to be a…want, a desire.

Soujiroh's eyes shifted down to Yuki.

"Are you that anxious to get back to Akira?"

She was stunned, taken aback by the biting sound of his words. It was so unlike Soujiroh to sound this way with any female. Slowly, she shook her head.

"No, Nishikado-san that is not what I meant."

Her eyes drifted to the group of girls awaiting his return. Even in the dress she was nothing like those other women, the ones Soujiroh always sought. Soujiroh glanced over his shoulder, following Yuki's line of vision. He winked at the girls, sending them into giggles before turning to face Yuki again.

"He'll only hurt you, Yuki-chan. Akira has always liked playing with other people's toys."

Yuki looked up at him and shook her head.

"Nishikado-san! I am not a toy and I do not belong to anyone."

Her simple statement seemed to echo Akira's previous one that Yuki belonged to no one, not even him.

"I won't help you get revenge this time. I'll be too busy and I warned you ahead of time," Soujiroh said. Why was she making him so angry?

"And why would you wear a dress that exposes so much of your skin and then allow Akira to touch it so freely?"

Yuki's forehead scrunched up in confusion.

"We were dancing, Nishikado-san."

Then suddenly, Soujiroh broke through the invisible wall he had created between them, stepped over the line. Yuki shivered as Soujiroh placed the tip of his fingers on the lowest point of exposure on her back and gently brought his fingers dancing up her back to her neck.

"So, you'll let anyone who dances with you touch you so?" He whispered into her ear. His voice was deeper when he whispered, sending chills through her and his words were so…degrading. The suggestive sound of his voice did not thrill Yuki. He was not flirting with her, but acting as if she had turned herself into a toy by dancing with Akira. She watched him incessantly be charismatic and kind to all women, never raising his voice, always the charmer, treating women as if they were special simply because of their gender. And yet, from the moment he approached her on the dance floor, he had been biting and insulting. She felt her bottom lip tremble and the sting of the tears in her eyes.

For the first time in Soujiroh's life, he felt what it was like to be smacked across the face by a woman.

With the echoing sound of flesh hitting flesh came the sudden deafening silence that was soon filled with the roaring sound of Soujiroh's booming voice.

"YUKI-CHAN!"

The sound was startling. Yuki jumped, taking a step back, her eyes wide in disbelief that she had just slapped Soujiroh and in shock at the things he had said to her. Even Soujiroh's girls were no longer giggling, staring at the scene with wide eyes. Never had they ever heard of or seen Soujiroh yell at a girl in such a way. Akira was fast though. He swept down on Yuki, stepping in between her and Soujiroh. His eyes turned to look at his friend and shook his head. Soujiroh looked beyond angry. His hand lay on his cheek, feeling the warmth the friction of their flesh caused. He moved to step forward.

"Soujiroh."

His eyes shifted to look at Akira. When he had Soujiroh's attention it was as if that was all that was required for Akira to know he would be calming down now. After all, Akira was always the peacemaker in the F4. Akira turned to Yuki.

"Let's get you something to drink, Yuki-chan," he said and then dropped his voice to an almost whisper. "And some space between you and Soujiroh."

She followed Akira, her heart pounding, her mind running in circles. She had hit Soujiroh. But the things he had said to her…why was he suddenly so mean to her? Was she not worthy of the kindness he would bestow upon any female he ran across? And then Makino's voice entered her mind, echoing thoughts she had long been having, but desperately tried to ignore.

Maybe it was time to just stop…to give it all up. Nashikado Soujiroh would never love her no matter how long she took tea ceremony classes. The true realization was like someone shoved a stake through her heart. The tears that had been fighting for release were running down her cheeks. Her hand lay limply in Akira's as he led her through the crowd on the dance floor. It was as if he could feel the overwhelming sadness through that contact. He slowed and looked over his shoulder at her, coming to a halt at her tears.

Akira blinked. What was wrong with him? It never bothered him all that much to see a girl cry. He had made plenty of them cry and never did he experience the twinge in his heart and stomach that he was feeling now. When Tsukasa spoke of responsibility where Makino was concerned their night in the elevator, Akira had cringed at the word…at the mere thought. And yet, here was this young woman, crying over Soujiroh's biting words and all he could think to do was take the responsibility of making her smile…of wiping those tears away.

Yuki took a deep breath and a quavering sigh escaped her lips.

"Gomen," she whispered.

Akira took a deep breath of his own. She was like an angel standing there…a heartbroken angel. He reached out, hand grabbing the back of her head gently and pulling her to him. Her head lay on his chest, listening to the beat of his heart. His hand gently stroked her head, while his other arm wrapped around her and he swayed to the soft music.

"Shhhh…it's okay, Angel."

He felt her body shiver against his as her sobs subsided. His arms wrapped around her tighter as if she needed warmth. The soothing sound of his heart beat seemed to calm her. As the tears dried away, she pulled her head up and stepped back out of Akira's embrace. He smiled softly as she blushed. He could see the apology forming on her soft lips.

"It's alright, Yuki-chan. Don't worry about it."

She glanced up at his warm smile and before she knew it, a smile grew across her face. He reached out, cupping her face and ran his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the tears that lingered.

"Perhaps it's time for my Angel to go and freshen up?"

She nodded and turned with as much enthusiasm as before and skipped off to the ladies room. Akira stood in the middle of the dance floor, watching her go. She had a certain gracefulness to her when she wasn't desperately trying for Soujiroh's attention. His eyes didn't move from her until she disappeared around a corner. Then his eyes drifted to the edge of the dance floor where Soujiroh stood, his lips pursed in displeasure, his cheek still red. Soujiroh's eyes were narrowed, staring at Akira as if seeing him for the first time.

"Well, you protected her from someone that broke her heart once and she fell for you." Rui said as he stepped up to Soujiroh. "Akira saved her from you, so maybe now it's his turn."

Rui smiled silently as he watched Soujiroh grow agitated, shifting on his feet and looking around.

"What do you want, Rui?"

Rui smiled almost enjoying Soujiroh's agitation.

"I just saw your mother. She asked me to send you and Yuki-chan to her."

She stared at herself in the mirror. She was not glamorous, she knew that. She was nothing compared to the women Soujiroh chose to grant with his affections. And yet, a part of her still fought for that right to a piece of his heart. But it seemed a losing battle. She took a deep breath and checked one last time in the mirror. The puffiness of her eyes was not nearly as bad as when she entered the ladies room.

Yuki stepped out of the room, traveling the short hallway and turned the corner where the party guests where assembled. She was stunned when, as she turned the corner, Soujiroh grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her through the crowd.

"My mother has requested our presence."

Yuki could say nothing; only follow as she was being pulled. Why was he suddenly treating her so roughly? As they drew closer to a large table, Soujiroh dropped her wrist like fire and approached the table with a slight polite bow.

Natsumi looked her son over. She wasn't ignorant. She knew it was highly likely Soujiroh had already gathered a little group of young women willing to be at his beck and call, willing to be nothing more than toys. Her eyes scanned his face. His eyes seemed to look everywhere but at the young woman standing next to him. The redness of one of his cheeks raised many questions in her mind and quickly she looked over Yuki. Her red puffy eyes were evidence to the young woman's emotional state. She had been upset, hurt even and once again her eyes landed on her son.

_Baka__._

"Yuki-chan's parents will be moving away," Natsumi said, keeping an eye on her son for his reaction. She noticed his body twitch slightly as if to say or do something, but fighting it every step of the way. "It will take Yuki-chan's father at least a year or two to get the new branch of his company situated," she continued to say.

Soujiroh felt his heart pounding wildly. What was his mother saying? That Yuki was moving away…leaving him?

"I thought," Natsumi continued. "It would be awful to uproot Yuki-chan…to take her away from her friends and make her find a new college to attend. So, Yuki-chan will be moving in with us for a bit."

At her words, Soujiroh's heart stopped. His mind could not grasp how to make the girl stop trying to win his affections and now…now she would be eating, sleeping…_living_ under the same roof?

**A/N: **Don't forget my LJ has two more chapters than what is posted here...feel free to read there and comment as well! Also I have posted the prologue for my Death Note (L/Misa) fanfic there!


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to Hana Yori Dango

**A/N: **This is drama-verse! Also, I really enjoyed writing this chapter...though maybe that is because I love to torture Soujiroh...lol

**Chapter Four**

Her fingers delicately traced the rim of the chawan. The flowers that decorated the bowl seemed to mock her in their beauty. They represented something Soujiroh would never give her; it would always only be the impression upon the chawan she would receive. It was as if giving her this precious chawan was promising something…something he would never actually give. Still, she clung to it as if the chawan itself represented much more than it was meant for, as if it held all her hope for a life with Soujiroh…one day.

The corners of her mouth turned up in a slight smile as she remembered how dashing he truly looked at the party, even when he was angry with her. There was a fire dancing in his eyes when he yelled her name after she slapped him and at that thought her stomach clenched. She had slapped him across the face, but had he not asked for it? Was he not being as cruel as his words would allow him and for what reason? What had she done to justify such venom from him?

"The others are gone, Yuki-chan," the woman that took over the class when Sara left said from the corner of the room. "You look like you need a few minutes."

Yuki glanced up and smiled at her sensei as she crossed the room and stepped out of the door. Yuki could hear her office door close a few moments later. The room she remained in seemed darker now that she was alone. The moonlight shone in through the window, dancing across the floor. She closed her eyes for a moment, but all she could see was Soujiroh's face, angry with her, appalled that she had slapped him.

"Yuki-chan."

It was his voice. She could recognize it anywhere. It tickled her senses and sent chills through her body. Her eyes opened and she turned to look over her shoulder. Soujiroh stood just in the door of the class with Akira. Both young men were smiling.

"We thought we would stop by and see how your tea ceremony class went," Akira said, looking around the empty room.

Yuki quickly placed the chawan on the floor and stood up, rushing toward them so quickly that Soujiroh took step back, right into the wall. She was always so enthusiastic with her approach toward him. She bowed suddenly, her hair falling over her shoulders. As she apologized, Soujiroh could hear the quaver of fear in her voice; fear that he would not forgive her. Soujiroh was never really sure what to do when she was like this and often it ended up with her in tears and that really flustered him more than he was willing to admit. So, he did the one thing he always did in these situations. He reached out and patted her awkwardly on the head.

When Yuki straightened up she had that big bright smile of hers on her face; the one that often pulled Soujiroh's own mouth into a smile. Yuki gathered her things, delicately placing her chawan in the box she carried it to class in. Soujiroh stood at the doorway watching how gently she handled the gift, as if she were holding his heart instead. He had never noticed it before, how small and delicate her hands were and how gracefully they could move.

"Ready," Yuki said with much more zeal than necessary.

Soujiroh winked at her as he stepped aside and ushered her through the door. Akira had been watching since they entered the room. It was like watching a game. Yuki, so subdued, hiding in her own thoughts, only to be chased out by Soujiroh and then he lays the bait…a wink, a hint of interest and sets her to chasing him again. It was almost painful to watch. Was Soujiroh even aware he was doing this? Was this why he suggested going to collect the young woman from her class?

"Have you eaten yet, Angel?"

Yuki shook her head and Akira smiled as he started on a path toward a café. Over the top of Yuki's head, Akira could see Soujiroh looking at him, eyes narrowed as if trying to read something far away, trying to see something within Akira. He smiled at his friend and turned back to see where he was going.

Yuki continued speaking to Soujiroh, who did at least seem to be paying attention. And Akira knew he probably was. Soujiroh never ignored any female he was around. It wasn't in his nature. Each one was s jewel and he coveted them all. Akira did notice Yuki's avoidance of any talk of her tea ceremony class beyond the generic. Never did she get into details when Soujiroh was around; never did she ask him any questions.

"Where is Hanazawa-san?" Yuki took the seat Soujiroh held out for her, looking between her two companions.

"He mentioned doing something with Makino tonight," Soujiroh said as he took his seat.

As soon as Akira sat down a waiter was bustling over to them. Soujiroh sat there, watching the way she removed her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair. His eyes were trained on the menu, appearing to pay the young woman very little attention.

"Angel, what would you like? My treat."

At Akira's words, Soujiroh's fingers tightened on the menu, his eyes looked up over the top of the menu, looking through his fallen hair. What was Akira doing? Was he trying to anger him? Yuki was not married, nor did she currently have a boyfriend, so why was Akira blatantly flirting with her! He didn't want to have to protect her from one of his own friends. He had already said no, quite adamantly, about Rui trying to court her affections away from him, what made Akira think that meant he could do it?

"Tomorrow," Yuki said in response to a question Soujiroh did not hear as their food arrived.

Akira smiled over the rim of his tea cup as he glanced across the table at Soujiroh, taking note of this every fiber seeming to jump in anxiety and irritation. He sat his tea cup down and smiled.

"It will be like having a little sister, Soujiroh ne?"

Soujiroh's eyes said it all as they glared menacingly at Akira before turning to Yuki, a flirtatious glint in them, a slight twitch of his lips as his usual forewarning.

"It will be _pleasurable _living in the same house," Soujiroh said with a slight hint in his voice that he meant something nefarious in that statement.

He couldn't help but to smile at the blush that crept across Yuki's cheeks as she looked down into her plate.

"Did you need any help moving your things tomorrow?"

Akira had noticed Yuki's shy discomfort at Soujiroh's tone and quickly asked the question to change the subject from what was going on in Soujiroh's mind to what was happening in the real world. She looked up from her plate and smiled sweetly at Akira.

"That is very kind of you, Akira-san, but okaa-san already said she was sending a car for me."

When they left the café the three walked until they came across Soujiroh's bike parked at the curb.

"Ja ne!"

He hoped on the bike, grabbing a hold of his helmet. Yuki stood there, a bright smiling and her usual hope filled eyes. Soujiroh looked into those eyes and with a quirk of his lips, he winked at her.

"I'll be there with the car tomorrow, Yuki-chan."

She nodded, her smile growing brighter. His eyes lingered on hers and he felt that inevitable noose tighten around his neck. Tossing the helmet on, he drove off without looking back.

Akira stood back, watching Yuki send Soujiroh off, knowing he would not offer to take the young woman home. Moonlight illuminated her there on the curb as she watched him drive off. More and more she was looking like an angel to Akira.

"I'll see you home safely, Yuki-chan."

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

She saw her parents off that morning and returned to a house that suddenly seemed abandoned. Movers would be coming the next day to pack the furniture and take it away, but simply without her parents in it, the house seemed empty. It seemed to be a shell of her childhood. Boxes lined the wall, labeled with rooms for the movers when they arrived. Her entire life with her parents were packed in those boxes, categorized and labeled.

Yuki moved through the room, paying the boxes little attention now. Her room was still in the final stages of packing and the car would be arriving soon. The knock came before she could reach her room. She remembered Soujiroh's words the night before…he would be there. She turned quickly and all but ran across the room, throwing the door open to a smiling Soujiroh…a Soujiroh who knew full well how Yuki would answer the door to him, anxious, excited, hopeful and smiling.

"Hello, Yuki-chan," he said with his usual charming smile.

She jumped back, inviting him in and suddenly feeling nervous. She was alone in her empty house with Nishikado Soujiroh, but then she felt silly. She would be living in the same house as him, so would she not find herself alone with him at other times?

"These gentlemen will move your stuff for you," he said pointing at two rather burly looking men standing behind him.

Yuki nodded and led them all to her room. Again her nerves jumped as she opened the door. Her bedroom…no boy or man besides her father had ever been in there and yet when she turned around to look behind her, Soujiroh stood there, eyes trained on her chawan sitting on the table, smiling.

Before her nerves caused her to jump out a window, Yuki turned, walking swiftly toward the table with the chawan and pulled out two small boxes, one for the blue flowered chawan and the box the one Soujiroh bought her came in. He watched her delicately pack each one up and insist on carrying them with her.

"What about this one?"

Soujiroh held the chipped one, his finger gliding over the rough area of her blunder. His eyes glanced over the top of the chawan and winked at her. She was already red, feeling the humiliation of the evidence of her amateur tea making.

"Keep it, Yuki-chan," he said. "I still have my first chawan…chips and all. You should keep it. It is a record of your growth."

She felt the humiliation drain from her. He held the chipped chawan out to her. She took it from his hands, fingers brushing his inadvertently. A small smile danced across his lips at the tender touch. She pulled open a desk drawer and pulled out a small box that sat in there. It was the original box the chawan came in. She quickly wrapped her first chawan up and placed it carefully in its home.

They remained as the men moved her stuff into a moving van. The furniture was going to her parents' house, only the things she boxed up were to be moved to the Nishikados' house. By the time the van was loaded, Yuki stood in her bedroom door. The furniture remained, but this room too seemed abandoned, empty, left behind.

"Yuki-chan?" His voice drifted from behind her.

"I'm coming," she said and turned, almost walking right into Soujiroh's chest.

She stumbled slightly, Soujiroh grabbing her arms to keep her balanced on her feet. His eyes sparkled with amusement and Yuki blushed in embarrassment. Still with an amused smile on his face, he led her to the car waiting to take them home.

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It was difficult to swallow when one felt like they were choking. He should have known his mother would be like this upon Yuki's arrival, after all, he heard nothing but how wonderful Akiko's daughter was after they met for weeks. While the servants arranged her room with her things, Natsumi insisted on feeding him and the young woman. By the way his mother acted you would think Soujiroh had brought Yuki home to introduce his mother to her.

His mother seemed more than just a little thrilled at having a young woman in the house, no at having _Yuki _in the house.

Another bite he had to force down with much difficulty.

With each giggle—with each whispered word as if old friends telling secrets, he felt his throat constrict. Natsumi was still in a little fit of giggles about something her and Akiko had done as children. Yuki glanced up, her eyes meeting Soujiroh's. It felt like she was holding a pillow over his face.

Soujiroh suddenly stood, excusing himself.

He rushed down the appropriate hall, flinging himself into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. He leaned back against the door, slowly turning so that his forehead rested on the wood, welcoming the coolness against his skin. He simply did not know what to do with a girl like that. She was unwavering in her chasing of him. It didn't matter what he did, she would come running after him…wanting more than he would ever be able to give her. She wasn't like the others.

Slowly his breathing seemed to relax, coming at the appropriate rate without panic. Straightening up, he turned to face the bathroom at large. His plan was to splash a bit of water on his face while he figured out what to do. Before he could always run from Yuki, run to his own home, but now…they shared that home. At night when he returned, she would be there, just on the other side of his bedroom wall. He felt his throat tighten again.

And then he saw the bathroom.

It had always had the bare minimum. There was no doubt when you looked at the bathroom that it was a man's. But now?

The shower that once held simply a bottle of shampoo and some soap now held other things…pink and purple bottles of shampoo that had flowers on it, body soap whose bottle spoke of lavender and how soft it would make your skin, a pink puffy thing no man would use for washing his body with, sweet smelling shaving cream meant for your legs and a purple razor.

It was hard to breathe.

The towel rack no longer held the one towel he would need when he got out of the shower and no longer did the hand towel rack by the sink hold just the one clearly masculine hand towel. Now, sitting next to his on the towel racks were soft fluffy pink towels only a girl would use.

His heart pounded harder.

Sweat broke out across his forehead.

His eyes landed on the vanity. Normally it was almost empty. Nothing but his toothpaste, toothbrush and comb for his hair. He didn't require a lot. Every now and then there would be some man's gel for his hair, but that was just on occasion. What he was now faced with was nothing short of panic inducing. A white brush decorated with pink flowers lay on the vanity top, hair sprays, leave-in conditioners and various other hair products decorated the vanity top, a flower decorated bag with make-up products sticking out the top sat on one side of the vanity and then he saw the one thing that sent his head spinning. His toothbrush no longer sat alone in the multi-brush holder. Next to his toothbrush sat a pink one, the heads of the brushes leaning away from each other so that their handles touched at the bottom.

Shaking his head, he backed away from the sight, turning toward the bathroom door and wrenching it open, nearly running from the house.

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"You look pale, Soujiroh."

Akira sat across from Soujiroh on the sofa eyeing his friend and the way he held his head in his hands as if going mad. Akira poured the sake and set it on the table in front of Soujiroh. He lifted his head, eyeing the small cup and immediately picked it up and drained it. Akira watched his friend grab the bottle, pour some more, and drain that as well.

"I take it Yuki-chan is settled in?"

Soujiroh drained the third cup and slammed the cup down glaring at Akira.

"So what happened to put you in this mood?"

Akira poured himself some sake and looked over at his friend. Soujiroh rubbed his head for a moment.

"Pink happened."

"Eh?"

Soujiroh smiled sardonically and drained another cup.

"In my bathroom," he elaborated. "It was overflowing with…girl stuff…sitting there right next to _my_ stuff…"

Akira started to laugh. He knew what Soujiroh's problem was. It was that fear again. Seeing his bathroom interspersed with Yuki's things was like seeing his life married to her…the objects of their lives intermingling and it caused a panic. Akira wondered when Soujiroh ran from the house how Yuki felt. Was she sitting at the Nishikado house wondering where he was at and what she had done? He watched Soujiroh take another drink. He had no doubt that was exactly what Yuki was doing. After all, that was what she always did—waits on Soujiroh. It would only be a matter of time before Soujiroh drank himself into a stupor and would be out until morning. He almost felt bad for his friend. Yuki was his stopping point and he was fighting it tooth and nail. And yet, some part of Akira fought against those thoughts, telling him that Soujiroh didn't deserve her…he ignored her, pushed her away and yet she kept coming back. Soujiroh had no clue really what was right in front of him.

And just as Akira thought, eventually Soujiroh was out…lost to the darkness the sake drew him into.

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Her hand lay gently on the wall separating her and Soujiroh's rooms. He should be just on the other side, but he wasn't. His mother was quite displeased when he fled from the house as if a fire were burning it down. Yuki couldn't help but to feel it was her fault. How could she not feel that? How many times had she seen Soujiroh only to see him turn upon spotting her and run in the opposite direction?

The house had grown eerily silent in the time that she remained awake waiting for some sound of Soujiroh's return. She couldn't say what she planned to do when he returned. Apologize for being there? Promise to stay out of his way? It depended on which would make him the happiest. Because that was all she wanted—for Soujiroh to be happy. And the more she thought about that, the more she began to realize how utterly unhappy she made him.

She was startled from her thoughts by the tap on her window. It was soft as if the noise was meant only for her ears. Yuki stilled, listening for any sounds in the house or out. Again, the soft tap came from the window. Slowly, she moved toward the window, unsure what to do. If it was someone there to hurt her, the house was quiet enough that if she screamed it would definitely alert someone. Or so she hoped.

The soft tap sounded again.

She reached out with shaking hands and unlatched the window, allowing it to swing open. She gasped at what she saw. Akira stood there, his finger held to his lips in warning to keep quiet so as not to wake everyone. Yuki scrunched her forehead up in confusion and stepped up to the window as Akira approached.

"Akira-san! Why are you here like this? Is anything wrong?"

Akira couldn't help but to smile at the worry in her voice. He knew the worry wasn't really about him though. It was concern because Soujiroh wasn't home yet.

"Nothing's wrong, Yuki-chan," he whispered.

She nodded and looked down shyly, her hair, down for the night, falling in her face. He felt the overwhelming desire to protect her…to make her smile and wondered if Soujiroh ever felt this, if maybe this is what always sent him running? And in his mind, Akira reminded himself how Yuki was very much one of them. She was their friend and as such he could not stand there and watch her pout. He reached out, gently brushing her hair back off her face and tucking it behind her ear.

"Just checking that you got settled in alright," he said.

She looked up at him and nodded, eyes darting around almost embarrassed by Akira's intimate touch.

"Don't worry about Soujiroh," he said. "He's at my house tonight. He's not used to having a girl around all the time."

Yuki nodded and then looked at Akira.

"I think Nishikado-san would be happier if I weren't here."

Akira could see the sadness in her eyes, the heart break at her realization. He reached into the window and pulled her toward him, arms wrapping around her for comfort.

_What is Soujiroh doing to my Angel?_


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **Not mine...

**A/N: **This is strictly drama-verse

**Chapter Five**

He walked groggily down the stairs of the large Mimasaka house. The strong smell of a Western style breakfast wafted up to greet him and churn his stomach as a wave of regret for drinking so much washed over him. He paused halfway down the stairs and swayed momentarily, urging his stomach to not reject anything that may still be there. When he made it into the main room of the house, he saw Akira sitting at a breakfast table that had been set up to match the rest of the room.

The centerpiece was pink balloons and the table was sprinkled with pink flower petals. Soujiroh stepped closer, realizing just how ridiculous the room truly was and how he had sat in that very frilly room drinking away the memory of how his bathroom had been infused with such girly things. Akira looked up from his tea, smiling at how pale Soujiroh grew by the second.

"Sit down," he said. "Before you fall down."

Soujiroh sat down giving Akira a very displeased look. He was his friend. Why did he let him drink so much? They were quiet. Akira sat there, sipping his tea, eating his breakfast and reading the paper. Soujiroh eyed his tea warily, wondering if he would be alright if only sipped it. Akira watched him tentatively take a sip.

"Why don't we meet Rui, Makino and Yuki-chan for lunch today," Akira suggested with a smile.

Soujiroh nearly dropped his tea cup, a habit he seemed to be forming when it came to Yuki-chan lately.

"No," he said sternly.

Akira smiled brightly at his friend.

"Oh come on, Soujiroh! It's just lunch. What's the worse that could happen? Beside, she probably had to eat breakfast alone."

And Soujiroh watched with well hidden horror as Akira pulled out his cell phone.

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She was a little more than just surprised when her cell phone rang as she was approaching her classroom and it was Akira inviting her to lunch with everyone…including Soujiroh. True, she had only been there less than twenty-four hours, but in that short time Soujiroh had already run away from home and Yuki had experienced what it was like to eat breakfast at a table clearly large enough for more than just her. It was quite a lonely experience…one she didn't wish to experience at lunch.

"Nishikado-san gave you a car to use?"

Makino's eyes were wide as they stared at Yuki. She nodded.

"And a driver," Yuki said.

Makino's excitement was beginning to become quite vocalized and loud. Next to her, Rui calmly sipped his tea. His eyes shifted down to the over excited young woman.

"Tsukushi," he said softly as the volume of her voice rose even further.

Makino stiffened suddenly, as if realizing how loud she was becoming and growing red in embarrassment. She smiled apologetically up at Rui who only smiled back warmly. Yuki looked between the two. Something strange was going on there. She would have to remember to ask Makino when they worked together again.

"How was your first night in your new room?"

They were all waiting. Soujiroh had not arrived yet and Akira knew he would. After all, he told Soujiroh Yuki wouldn't be able to make it. From the moment Yuki arrived Akira could see the excitement dancing in her eyes. It was so palpable in the air around her, he wondered if she would be able to eat a bite of her food. His hand rested on the back of her chair as he listened to her answer his question.

They were still talking, nothing more than cups of tea in front of them when Soujiroh stepped through the door. He looked much better than when he had woken up that morning. No longer did he look pale and no longer did he turn several shades of green as the aroma of various foods assaulted his senses. When Akira told him Yuki could not make it, never had Soujiroh felt so much relief wash over him. His home was no longer going to be his safe haven from the girl. He needed some place…some time where he did not have to concern himself with making it perfectly clear to the girl that they would never happen. Ever.

He saw them before they saw him. Rui and Makino sat on one side of the round table talking about something. Makino's eyes were wide and her movements looked excited. Rui's were calming and even from the distance he stood Soujiroh could see the soothing effect he had on her.

It was the other side of the table that stilled him. Yuki's soft gentle laugh made it to his ears. She was laughing, her body turned slightly toward Akira who had his hand on the back of her chair, a huge smile on his face as whatever he said made her laugh. She seemed so much more relaxed with Akira and her laughter…it was a sound Soujiroh had never heard from her. How was it that Akira could create such a sound? It was like watching her at his parents' anniversary celebration again. How delicate and gentle Akira was with her. Slowly, Soujiroh stepped toward the table.

They noticed him.

All eyes turned toward him.

He didn't care about that. It was her bright excited eyes boring into him with so much expectation that sent shots of panic through his body.

"Nishikado-san!"

Akira looked up with a smile.

"The Angel could come after all," he said.

Soujiroh turned on his heals and fled from the restaurant. There was no way he would sit there. He would not do it. He could not do it. Akira watched the excitement on Yuki's face fall when Soujiroh turned and all but ran away from them. It was the same look on her face the day they were all meeting at his house and Soujiroh ran from her then too. And just like that day, Yuki stood up and ran after him…chasing her dream.

What had she done?

What had she done to make him run from her every time he saw her? Was she that hard to be around? Was she that horrible of a person?

As Soujiroh crossed the pavement to his bike, he heard the sound of her feet hitting the pavement behind him rapidly, chasing him once again.

"Nishikado-san!"

She was calling out to him, leaving him no doubt that he was once again physically being chased by her. Did she not understand? He had reached his bike and was getting on it, when he heard her voice again.

"Don't leave, Nishikado-san," she said gasping for air from her run. "I'll leave instead. They are your friends after all."

His movements stilled as what she said registered in his mind. Yuki stood there, nervously watching Soujiroh as he slowly turned around.

"Yuki-chan!" He couldn't believe she was taking it so personally. "You do not understand. You continue to chase me even after I told you what I expect in a woman I choose."

Yuki nodded and looked down.

"And I began taking tea ceremony classes. Maybe one day I'll be the woman you can't live without, but for now I have accepted our friendship as just that."

He watched her face as she said these words. They seemed to cause her a certain amount of pain and for a moment he realized there was no one else he needed to protect Yuki from again. This time he was the one hurting her. Wasn't that her fault though? He never teased her…he never invited her affections.

"Yuki-chan, don't you understand? You will ne…"

"Yuki-chan," Akira said, stepping up to them, interrupting what Soujiroh was about to say.

His eyes lingered on Soujiroh as he spoke to Yuki.

"Angel, why don't you go order some lunch. There is no reason for you to leave. Makino is waiting for you."

Yuki looked between the two, understanding there was something hanging unsaid between the two friends and it could not be resolved with her standing there on the side walk with them. She turned and disappeared back into the building. The moment they heard the doors close, Akira spoke.

"I can't believe you were going to say something so harsh to Yuki-chan," Akira said.

Soujiroh glared at his friend.

"Don't start this Akira. She needs to know."

"Know what?"

"That she will never be the woman I can't live without," Soujiroh said with such vehemence that Akira could almost believe it. Almost.

Akira shook his head.

"If that is the truth, Soujiroh, then stop all of this."

"All of what?" Soujiroh's tone was one of someone about to explode.

"Running from her one day and then seeking her out another. Taking her out shopping for a special chawan for her. The smiles. The winks. The gifts of hope you give her when she has no chance of ever reaching that dream she is striving for. How can you do that?"

"I have never been cruel to her," Soujiroh defended himself.

"Yes, you have," Akira said. "I've watched you. Do you think it's not cruel to seek her out and then ask her about a gift for another woman knowing how she feels about you? I've seen you do it, Soujiroh. She's a fool to still be waiting and you're a fool to let her."

Soujiroh tossed his helmet on his head.

"I would tell you, Akira, that if you care so much then why don't you court her affections, but there is a problem with that…you only want what others have."

With those last words Soujiroh drove off, intent on going home where Yuki obviously was not and eating in peace. Akira turned and went back inside. He slowed as he approached the table. Yuki sat there, hands in her lap, looking down. At his approach, she looked up to meet his eyes and he could see the sadness and felt as if he had just been hit by some unseen force, knocking the breath out of him.

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For days Soujiroh came home long enough to sleep and then was gone again. Yuki knew he was avoiding her. It was his habit. It was their dance. But it was a dance that hurt because he seemed to step on her toes continuously. Again the thoughts flooded her mind, the thoughts that Makino was right, it was time to stop chasing him. But a part of her just couldn't seem to breathe at that thought…as if he was her air.

And just as she was about to decide to just quit….to just give up, there he stood in the doorway to her bedroom, flirtatious smile on his face.

"Will you come out with me, Yuki-chan? I need your help."

It was right there on the tip of her tongue to say no. Outings with Soujiroh were always the same. He made her feel special, alive, _his. _It was filled with all these little moments that gave her hope—smiles, winks, gentle touches, but always it ended on some form of a reminder—he would never want her, but the sales girl was a different story, or the giggling girls in movie theatres, or the waitress at the restaurant. There was always someone else.

One look in his eyes and she found herself nodding in agreement. He reached in to grab her wrist and pull her from her room, not stepping over the threshold of her room as if there were some invisible line he refused to cross. She squealed in surprise, but followed Soujiroh right past his mother who seemed quite happy to see Soujiroh holding any part of Yuki and out of the house.

They didn't take Soujiroh's bike. That would have been scandalous. No woman rode the back of his bike. It was a seat that was only ever offered to one woman and he seemed unlikely to ever offer it to another. The car that was for Soujiroh's use waited just outside the house, the door being held open waiting for them to enter. She slid into the car without another thought of backing out. How could she?

Soujiroh sat in the back of the car listening to Yuki's chattering nervously about this and that. Never did she bring up her tea ceremony class and never did she bring up any old conversations where he informed her explicitly that they would never be together. And when she had nothing else to say to him, she sat there in silence, eyes drifting out the dark tinted windows watching the shaded scenery go by.

Akira's words seemed to play over and over again in his mind and the suggestion that she simply needed another love interest to cause her to leave him alone. He thought about that. There was more than one occasion he had pointed a young man out to Yuki, hoping she might have an interest in another. She never did. And when Akira mentioned Rui doing the job of wooing her affections away from him, a part of Soujiroh protested the very idea. Rui may be the quietest one of them all, but he was hardly innocent and he was still hung up on Makino. It would do nothing but cause Yuki pain if she fell for Rui.

The image of Yuki on that street corner, tears pouring down her face flashed in his mind. Could he look on in good conscious while one of his friends put her in such a state? Did he want to find her like that again?

Yuki took a deep breath. Just the thought of letting him go, forgetting her dream, was too much. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. The aroma that she associated with Soujiroh lingered in the car around them. She wondered if it was the shampoo or some cologne he wore or a combination of the two, but it always made her heart beat just a little faster while at the same time filling her with a warmth that told her she was home.

Her beating heart quickly felt as if it would shatter any moment. His words always came back to her; his promise that she would never be his. She was still staring out the window when the car pulled up to the curb and parked, the driver getting out and opening the door for them.

Soujiroh led her into a jewelry shop. Yuki hesitated at a display case, feeling her pounding heart and listening to the taunting sound of Soujiroh's voice in her head telling her it will never be her.

"What do you think of this one, Yuki-chan?"

Soujiroh had come up behind her, holding a gaudy looking bracelet in front of her for her to look at. His arm was wrapped around her in order for him to place the bracelet before her. She could feel the heat from his body and she held her breath for a moment.

"It's a bit much," Yuki said the moment she found her voice.

The shop keeper immediately whisked the bracelet away, back to the other side of the store where it sat. She felt it when Soujiroh stepped back, creating enough space between them for Yuki to breathe again.

"Which one do you like?"

His question was almost cruel. Why ask her such a thing? Her eyes looked down into the case she had been perusing. The bracelet sitting there was beautiful, not gaudy in the least. It was like a vine of flowers, the gold chain being the vine and the pink sapphires the flowers with delicate diamond petals. It was not large and was rather simple in its design, but was beautiful.

"This one," Yuki said. "It's simple and yet so beautiful."

Soujiroh stepped forward to peer over her shoulder, his body lightly pressing her against the counter. Her breath hitched in her throat and her hand barely moved without shaking for Soujiroh to see what she was pointing at. Soujiroh nodded in agreement of Yuki's words.

"Yes, it is. Simple, yet beautiful. Just like its recipient." He looked over at the shop keeper and stepped around Yuki. "I'll take this one."

Yuki watched Soujiroh take care of the bill in wonder. Had he been talking about her? Simple she was, but beautiful? He couldn't have meant her. She pushed the idea out of her head as they moved on to do some other shopping he wished to have her tag along for.

The shopping was as it always was with him. She felt like she was his for a good bit of the time, pushing the bracelet out of her mind. The way he would gently lay his hand on her lower back as he ushered her through a shop door ahead of him, the way he would smile at her, and ask what she thought of one new shirt or another made her feel important to him. They even found themselves laughing quite a few times when Soujiroh would put a silly hat on or some other item to make the suddenly sullen Yuki smile.

By the time they entered the last shop for the day, Yuki's face hurt from laughing and smiling so much. Soujiroh could always do that to her. And like any other time, it was the last stop where he found something more interesting than Yuki. This time it wasn't the dressing room attendant, but the saleswoman that had helped them without hiding her interest in Soujiroh in the least. In fact, Yuki kept her smile on her face and turned toward a rack to put a shirt back and when she turned around, Soujiroh's lips were moving along the woman's neck, stopping only to whisper into her ear.

Yuki had only one thought in that moment...to get out of there as fast as possible.

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He could hear her in her room. She was trying to be quiet; it was obvious by the muffled sound of her sobs that she was either burying her face in a pillow in hopes of not being heard, or holding it over her face. Soujiroh stared up at the ceiling. Why was she doing this? Today was no different from any other day he pulled her along with him shopping. So, why was she crying this time?

And then a slow realization seemed to flow through him. They never lived in the same house before. Was this something she always did after these outings? Did she often go home and cry herself to sleep? He began to grow angry at the thought. Did he not warn her time and again that she was nothing more than a friend? Did he not tell her time and again that she never would be? He threw his own pillow over his head as he turned to the side, hoping to muffle the sound of her tears.

Yuki gasped for breath, it never seemed to reach her lungs being drowned by her tears instead. It was simply too much. It all came crashing down on her when she got home.

Home.

Odd to think of Soujiroh's home as hers, but it was and Natsumi was doing everything in her power to make sure she knew it was. It made it hurt more. How could she have fallen so hard for a man that saw her as…nobody.

He didn't know why he was doing it. He saw them, maybe that was why. Despite his warnings and conversations with Soujiroh, he had taken Yuki out with him…jewelry shopping. Akira knew it wasn't for Yuki. Was Soujiroh actually having Yuki choose another gift for yet another girl? And the worry followed him through the day to the point that Akira could do only one thing.

He gently knocked on the window that still had a very soft light illuminating the sheer drapes. He could see the lamp on her desk, still lit, books still open. There was no response to his gentle knock. She was there though. He grew quiet to be sure.

He could hear her gasping for air as if she had been crying uncontrollably for a period of time. He could hear the sobs, muffled. Akira gently pulled the window and it opened easily, never having been locked from his last visit. He took a nervous look around, eyes lingering only for a moment on Soujiroh's window next to Yuki's. There was no light on. Akira stepped through the window, shutting the window quietly behind him.

With each slow step closer to her, he got a better look. Yuki was curled up on her bed. One arm was wrapped around her stomach as if in pain and the other hand, gripped her pillow by her head as if it would keep her grounded. Her body shook with each sobbing cry.

Akira stood there.

She was broken and if not, she was darn close.

"Yuki," he whispered.

When she did not respond, he leaned down, placing his hands on her upper arms and sitting her up. She didn't fight against him. As soon as he had her sitting, he sat down, arms wrapping around her. When her head fell against his chest, resting so close to his neck, his hand rested on the back of her head, gently caressing her in comfort.

He knew who had caused this.

He knew who was to blame.

"Shhh…Angel, it will be okay…one day."


	7. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **Not mine.

**A/N: **Drama-verse and way ahead of this on my LJ! lol...

**Chapter Six**

If she hadn't been so upset not only with Soujiroh, but with herself, Yuki would have been horrified with what she was currently doing…with the position she was currently in. She didn't even get upset when Akira came through her window. It was a relief when he stepped through into her room. Being alone suddenly seemed frightening…horrifying and the arrival of Akira saved her from that nightmare. When he put his arm around her it filled her with such warmth and understanding that the tears flowed more easily as if his touch was giving her the okay to let it all out.

When Akira leaned back against the head board of Yuki's bed, Yuki couldn't help but to follow in the cocooned warmth of his arms. She felt her body shiver, but it was different. It was as if she were freezing on the inside and as she shivered she felt Akira's arms tighten around her and she could hear his soothing voice promising it would all be okay eventually.

With her head lying on his chest and the tears falling from her eyes, soaking his shirt, she could hear the soft rhythm of his heart beat. Her arm lay across his midsection and with each wave of hurt and pain she seemed to tighten her hold of him, as if pulling him closer to her. But it was his heart beat and the soothing sound of his promises that calmed her, dried her tears and lulled her to sleep.

As Yuki's breathing became heavy and less stilted from crying so much, Akira realized she had fallen asleep. He glanced down at her still form. Her long dark hair had fallen back off her shoulder exposing her face to him. His eyes lingered on the tear stained trail on her cheeks. He didn't know why he was there exactly. All he could explain to himself was that she was a friend, a girl, and she was hurting.

Akira reached over to the bedside table, smiling slightly at Yuki subconsciously tightening her hold of him with his movement, and turned off the light. The moon shone through the open window and danced a majestic light across the floor. It was while watching the way the light poured into the room and with the soothing feeling of Yuki's every breath as her chest rose and fell against his body that Akira fell asleep.

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Soujiroh's eyes flickered open. He rolled over onto his back, his covers wrapping around his bottom half in the movement. With a lazy slap, his hand splayed across his bare chest as he stared up at the ceiling. His chest rose with each deep breath and his brow furrowed even further with each passing moment. His mind wouldn't leave him alone. It kept replaying the muffled sound of Yuki's tears and his confusion was overwhelming.

Had he really done anything to cause a friend to cry?

No.

Untangling himself from his covers, Soujiroh stood up out of bed. His hand reached up into his hair, ruffling it as he scratched his head, desperately wanting a shower before he started his day. With a final stretch he shuffled out of his room, positive the bathroom was empty.

Yuki's bedroom door was right there when he stepped out of his room. He even had to pass it on his way to take a shower. His pace slowed and he paused just outside her door, raising his fist to knock. Should he see if she was okay? She seemed to cry forever the previous night. But she wasn't aware he knew she was crying. Perhaps it was best to say nothing. And what if he was the reason for her tears? Did he really want to know that his very friendship with her caused her such pain? He closed his eyes, jaw clenching. That was not his fault. If she was hurt just being friends with him then all she need to do is stay away, not agree to go off with him when he needed her help. So, if his friendship with her caused her that much pain, it was her fault not his.

His knuckles hit the door gently, not wanting to wake everyone in the house up, just wanting to check on Yuki. And from behind the door, he could hear her muffled sounds and a strange thump followed by the sound of her feet scurrying toward the door.

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Her world was peaceful and warm. She took a deep breath smelling something familiar…cologne or perhaps the soap someone used to bathe with. She wasn't sure which; just that it was a familiar scent. The morning sun shining through her opened window was already beginning to wake her, bringing her attention to things that weren't quite right. Like the feel of her pillow breathing deeply. It was the soft knock on her bedroom door that pulled her completely from her slumber.

She turned her face to bury it in her pillow, her senses assaulted with that familiar scent and the realization that her arm was wrapped around something very warm and alive. The almost squeaking sound of her moaning protest of the sunlight was what started Akira waking. Yuki's eyes shot open when she heard the second knock and Soujiroh's soft voice outside the door.

"Yuki-chan?"

Yuki realized several things in that instant. One was that her pillow was not a pillow, but a person. The second was that she was curled up on Akira's chest as if she belonged there. And the third was that Soujiroh was right outside her door. She gasped, attempting to jump from the bed and push Akira away at the same time. The result, instead of being Yuki finding herself standing out of bed and running toward the door, was Akira being shoved completely off the bed, hitting his head on the bedside table with a horrid thump as his body hit the floor, only to hit his head again. The shock of seeing Akira flying from the bed and being mutilated sent Yuki scurrying across the bed with her hand over her mouth. She climbed down from the bed, nearly on top of Akira, holding his head for a moment apologizing profusely as she scurried across the floor to the door.

She glanced back to be sure Akira was still on the floor and he was, laying there holding his head. Yuki turned to the door and opened it, stepping out as if to let Soujiroh know he wasn't welcome inside her room. She didn't bother to look up when she did so; she didn't see Soujiroh straining his neck to try to see in the room before it closed behind her. She didn't even look up enough to notice how…undressed Soujiroh was until the door was shut and she was trapped between her bedroom door and the bare chest of Soujiroh.

Soujiroh could not help the flirtatious smile that turned the corners of his lips up when Yuki squeaked in surprised and plastered herself to the door. He took a step forward, watching the way the wide-eyed innocent girl tried to become one with the door behind her.

"You seemed…tired yesterday, Yuki-chan. Just wanted to make sure you were well."

Yuki stared up into his dark eyes, sparkling with the hints of his playful behavior. She nodded her head, but said nothing. He eyed her clothing. She was still wearing her clothes from the previous day only now they were wrinkled.

"Yuki-chan? Did you sleep in your clothes?"

She looked down at herself.

"Oh…um…I fell asleep studying last night."

He watched the nervous way she smiled noting the tear stains on her cheeks and the red puffiness of her eyes. He knew better. He knew what it was. He knew she had been crying and if she was hiding it from him there was only one reason for it. He was the reason for her tears. He nodded his head and stepped back watching the odd way she opened her door and stepped back through such a small opening, quickly closing the door in his face.

When Yuki closed the door, she quickly locked it and turned around. Akira still lay on the floor, head in his hand, his eyes still trying to adjust to such a rude awakening. Yuki rushed over to him, kneeling down between his legs to try to pull him up to a sitting position. Akira sat up easy enough, still rubbing his head.

"Gomen! Are you alright? Say something!" Yuki was panicking. He hadn't spoken, hadn't looked at her, nothing.

"A simple 'hide' would have worked, Yuki-chan," Akira said with a slightly playful smile forming on his lips.

"Akira-san!" Yuki smacked his arm playfully as she realized he was teasing her.

It was a relief to smile after a night of tears and it was a relief to Akira to see her smiling again. She was still knelt down on the floor when Akira stood up and smiled down at her, offering his hand to help her up. She shyly took it, suddenly remembering how she woke up this morning, or more accurately where she was when she woke up. Akira knew what the blush that colored her cheeks was about.

"Don't worry about it, Yuki-chan," he said roughing her hair up as if she were a small child. "I'm here when you need me."

She smiled and nodded as Akira turned toward the window, feeling it best if he was not seen leaving her room at such an early hour and in yesterday's clothes. Yuki watched him disappear from sight and turned from the window. That was when she saw it laying across her bed. Akira had been wearing a button up shirt over a white t-shirt for some event he had gone to earlier with his mother. Apparently at some point in the night he had removed the button up shirt and tossed it onto the bed.

Yuki approached the bed and gently picked the shirt up, holding it up to her nose. That was the scent. The scent that invaded her dreams. The scent she woke up to, the scent that filled her with warmth and security…the scent that she also associated with Soujiroh. Perhaps they wore the same cologne. She held the shirt close for a moment before turning and putting it on, wrapping her arms around herself. Holding the sleeves that were much too long up to her nose and inhaling the heavenly scent, she closed her eyes. Maybe Akira was right and one day it would be all right. Maybe one day Soujiroh will love her.

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Hope. That was the only thing she had to hold onto. She didn't have Soujiroh's love, she knew that. She had his friendship and with that came hope. It filled her with warmth and made her feel silly for her tears the night before. Yes, he took her out and asked her to pick out a bracelet. Yuki's birthday was coming up; maybe it was for her and he just didn't tell her that. So it was with renewed hope that Yuki sat across from Soujiroh at the breakfast table, eating and nibbling on whatever Natsumi insisted she ate. Soujiroh sipped his tea, glancing over the rim of the cup every now and then noting the odd behavior Yuki was displaying.

Something just was not right.

There was something different about her. She took a sip of her tea, her own eyes glancing at him and a smile when her eyes met his. He felt his heart plummet. It was that look again—that look that was filled with all these expectations that he could not and would never fill. He sighed and looked away. It was best to have no eye contact. It was best if she had left with her parents.

Something twisted in his stomach and he sat his tea cup down with a strange stiffness not normal for him. His mother looked at him oddly and Yuki looked concerned. He needed to get out of that house…quickly. Simply the hope on Yuki's face was enough to drown him.

He was saved though. One of the servants entered the room introducing a morning guest. Akira stepped into the room with his typical bright smile, the one he used when he knew peacemaking would be necessary. It was strange the calming effect he could have on a room full of people.

"Akira-san! Please, won't you join us?" Soujiroh's mother seemed happy enough at his arrival.

It was Yuki's reaction that rubbed Soujiroh the wrong way. She nearly dropped her chopsticks when Akira arrived and once he sat down, she barely looked at him, choosing instead to stare into her plate. Soujiroh took another sip of tea as he reached for some of the food spread out on the table. He noted the slight tint across her cheeks and his eyes immediately went to his friend. Why did Akira's arrival cause such a reaction in Yuki? It was almost unnerving.

"Nishikado-san and I will be leaving in a while. We'll be gone all weekend. You boys should get some movies and entertain Yuki-chan for the weekend." Natsumi picked up her morning tea and smiled at her son.

There it was. That suffocation again. Soujiroh shifted slightly in his chair, his eyes shifting to the hopeful Yuki who was smiling entirely too brightly.

"That would be so much fun!"

The excitement in her voice was not disguised in the least and Akira was smiling behind his own cup of tea.

"I might be able to do that tomorrow night," Akira said reaching for a bit food for himself. "I have a date tonight," he continued, eyes landing on Yuki with an almost apologetic look in them.

And within five minutes of Akira's arrival, he had not saved Soujiroh from certain suffocating death in the least, but placed the pillow over his face.

"Well then, I suppose it will just be Yuki-chan and Soujiroh this evening," Natsumi said quite pleased with herself.

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"I'll see what I can do about moving my date to tomorrow night," Akira said while Soujiroh walked with him out to his waiting car.

"That's not necessary," Soujiroh said. He was already accepting his fate for the evening.

Akira shook his head.

"No, Soujiroh. I'll be here. I think its best. You don't want to get Yuki-chan's hopes up and then crush them again."

Soujiroh paused.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Akira stopped and turned to look at his friend, any sign of the peacemaking smile gone.

"I'm tired of seeing her cry over you."

Soujiroh's eyes narrowed. He did not understanding or did not want to understand exactly what Akira meant by those words. How often had he seen Yuki cry over him? And why was it always his fault? Soujiroh was tired of explaining himself…trying to make Akira understand that he has told Yuki more than once…it wasn't his fault she wouldn't go away.

Soujiroh didn't want to fight with his friend over this though. It was a ridiculous thing to argue about.

"Fine," Soujiroh said. "I'll see you this evening."

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"I'll try to get by there, but if I can't…please…Soujiroh, Yuki's not like the other girls…"

"I think I know that," Soujiroh said into the phone.

Akira had called to say he couldn't make it; some business emergency with his father.

"Soujiroh, just don't give her so much hope and then take it away. She bounces back each time, but one day she's not going to…one day it will simply be too much."

Yuki stepped into the room with the popcorn, her bright eyes landing curiously on Soujiroh. He was listening to someone on the phone as he said nothing, smiling at Yuki and winking.

"Alright, I'll tell her…bye."

Soujiroh hung up the phone and turned around.

"Akira will try to get by, but he must take care of some business first."

Yuki nodded and turned toward the T.V.

"Shall we start the movie?"

They watched one movie and then started another with no sign of Akira. Sitting on the sofa, Soujiroh could see how tired Yuki was becoming. They were halfway through the second movie when Soujiroh felt the soft pressure of Yuki's head falling onto his arm. He turned his head slightly, looking down at the young woman. She had fallen asleep.

With a slight smile, he grabbed one of the soft throw pillows next to him and placed it in his lap. Slowly and gently, he lowered Yuki's head the rest of the way down toward his lap. She mumbled something incoherent and shifted, turning so that her face was now facing Soujiroh's stomach and she seemed to snuggle into him.

Soujiroh looked down at her, unsure what to do now and unsure what had possessed him to lay her in his lap while he finished the movie. He looked at his hands; he was holding his arms above her body as if scared, not knowing where to put them. She snuggled further into him and oddly it seemed to make Soujiroh feel it was alright. What did he think he was going to do anyway once he had her in his lap? He laid his arm across the back of the sofa and tried to watch the movie.

His eyes kept drifting down to her though. Her hair had fallen across her face. He reached down with his right hand and gently pushed the hair off her face. No, she wasn't like the other women. She was different. He didn't know what to do with girls like this, how to handle them. His arm slowly lowered from the back of the sofa and rested gently across her body, his hand pushing the hair off her shoulder.

It seemed to stir something. She snuggled further into him, her arm stretching out from her own body to wrap around Soujiroh's middle. He heard her slight sniffle and then she was mumbling again.

"Why won't he love me, Akira-san?"

Soujiroh froze with his hand halfway back to her face to move yet more hair. He looked down as if worried she wasn't asleep or worried something else…something more important was wrong.

And he saw it…the single tear sliding down her cheek even in her sleep.

"Because he can't love you, isn't that right, Soujiroh?"

Soujiroh froze, looking up at his friend…his very late friend. There was something flashing in Akira's eyes as he looked down at Yuki in Soujiroh's lap.

"Take your hands off her, Soujiroh." Akira's voice was unusually stern and cold. The moment Soujiroh raised his arms up as if to show he was not touching Yuki, Akira swept down and lifted her up into his arms. Soujiroh watched the way the drowsy, sleepy Yuki turned into his friend's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. Akira glared down at his friend.

"This is a new low, even for you," Akira said. "This has to stop. Perhaps it would be best if someone…Makino maybe, talked her into going with her parents."

Soujiroh stood up suddenly. The thought of Yuki leaving seemed to propel him from his seat and he didn't know why.

"It will be hard on her, but eventually every scar you have inflicted will fade, but that will never happen as long as she has to face you every day and every night at the dinner table. You don't _want_ her to love you…_you_ said that. So then just let her go."

Soujiroh shook his head.

"Akira! Who are you to say this to me?"

"I am your friend, Soujiroh _and_ I am hers. Can't you see what you do to her? You aren't capable of loving anyone but yourself and until you are…you don't deserve her love."


	8. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to HYD

**Chapter Seven**

Soujiroh followed Akira down the hall, indignant at not only Akira's intrusion, but his accusations and the simple fact that he removed Yuki from his arms as if he had some sort of claim on her. He stood in the doorway of Yuki's room, not crossing that threshold as if there were some invisible line that held some deeper meaning he wanted nothing to do with and watched the way Akira gently laid the young woman on her bed. He looked too comfortable in that room…too familiar. Soujiroh watched the way Yuki seemed to snuggle into her pillow as if Akira's movement of her through the house did not disturb her. His eyes shifted up to his friend's face. This was ridiculous.

Akira crossed the room, the top buttons of his white shirt undone and his untied black tie hanging like a simple piece of black fabric hanging from the collar of the shirt. He met Soujiroh at the door, who stepped aside to let him out only after a moment. Akira shut the door behind him and looked back up at his friend.

"She's not married, Akira," Soujiroh reminded him.

Akira took a deep breath, moving his hand through his growing hair and shook his head, dropping his hand back to his side.

"I'll talk to Makino myself," Akira said as he brushed past Soujiroh and left the house without another word.

Soujiroh stood there for a while after the sound of Akira's drifting footsteps faded and the sound of the door shutting died out. His eyes shifted to the closed door. Slowly, he took a step forward, gently opening the door as quietly as possible. He stood just on the threshold of the room, unwilling to cross that line that Akira seemed to find so easy and comfortable to cross.

He watched her from where he stood. She lay curled up on her bed and he watched the way she would shift and sigh ever so slightly, her forehead crinkling in distress. And in that moment, as he watched the moonlight dance across the room, cutting across his vision of her, her own soft hurt voice filled his mind again. Those words she whispered in her sleep…those words she said with so much pain and confusion. He could still see the glistening track her tear had caused on her cheek. He closed his eyes as her sweet voice echoed in his memory.

_"Why won't he love me, Akira-san?"_

It was like a knife to his heart…or so he imagined. What girl could actually cause him pain other than Sara? None. But Yuki was different. He considered her a friend…maybe even a sister, but never could he consider her as anything more and as a friend or a sister he did not like to see her in pain…he did not like being the cause of it.

_"…Perhaps it would be best if someone…Makino maybe, talked her into going with her parents..."_

Soujiroh inhaled sharply. Could he let her simply walk out of his life for an insurmountable amount of time? There was no real timeline on how long her parents would stay gone and if they would even return. Could he let her walk away like that? Disappear from his life? Never see her hopeful face smiling at him? She was a part of his routine even if she didn't live in the same house he did. He would search her out to accompany him, he would wink at her enjoying the blush across her cheeks, she would chase him down and he would run for cover only to resurface for her in a few days time.

It was their routine.

Yuki sighed again, but it quavered as she twisted on her bed, slowly turning to sound more like a whimper. Soujiroh closed his eyes again. He had lay in bed just the other night and listened to her cry herself to sleep. He watched the hope fade away in her eyes and then watched it grow all within a twenty-four hour period…only to end the day with another tear. He opened his eyes and took one last look at her lying there.

His mother had brought Yuki into their house as if she were her long lost daughter, hoping she would be able to call her a daughter one day. Soujiroh knew that much. Yuki living there would not…did not stop him from living his life the way he liked to live it. It didn't decrease the number of girlfriends he had, but only increased the number of times he had to explain Yuki's existence. Her dwelling in his home did not affect him so adversely that his life would change and yet, his very way of life seemed to be what was killing her on the inside.

_Perhaps Akira was right. It's best to send her to her parents and to her new life…a life away from me._

With those final thoughts washing over him, Soujiroh closed the door on Yuki's sleeping form.

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She was bright, happy and smiling, so unlike her sleeping form the previous night. She nibbled on the toast she held aloft as she stirred her tea, eyes glancing across the table at him. Soujiroh shifted uncomfortably. They were the only ones there, his parents still out of town, not due back for another day. It was always so strange to be sitting across from her in the mornings when breakfast permitted a more family oriented breakfast.

He looked away from her overly hopeful smile, staring out the window at the sunlit sky trying to catalogue his day's events. He sighed, remembering what Akira's plan was and his plan to let him go through with it.

Yuki glanced at Soujiroh, noting his lack of food.

"Are you not hungry, Nishikado-san? You really should eat something."

The worry in her voice was like a tinkling wind chime to his ears. Was this what life with her would be like? Her constant concern for his wellbeing, her voice whispering soft words of concern and her eyes always filled with that ignorant bliss?

"I'm not hungry, Yuki-chan. I'll eat something a little later. Just eat your breakfast." He glanced at her, batting down the instinct to wink at her with his words.

She stared at him for a moment, looking him over as if she could figure out what was ruining his appetite by just looking at him. Finding nothing physically that she could concern herself with, she turned upon the arrival of a servant offering her more tea.

Soujiroh's gaze shifted from out the window. She was distracted by the servant and his offer of more tea. She was too polite to ignore him and turned to address the man. He watched the way she smiled at the servant, eyes drifting to the slope of her neck as it twisted around to look at the man, the twinkling in her eyes not leaving even when she wasn't looking at Soujiroh directly.

Could he send her away?

Could he live without knowing he could see her at will?

As she turned back around, Soujiroh picked up his tea cup and brought the delicate piece of porcelain to his lips. It would be cruel to keep her here simply because he saw her as a sister of sorts. He could never love her the way she loved him and loving him obviously hurt her so.

But would her feelings not fade in time? Especially when they were never reciprocated? Would she not learn and grow to love him as nothing more than a brother perhaps…her mother's best friend's son?

The ringing of Yuki's cell phone brought Soujiroh from his thoughts. He eyes refocused, attention turning to the young woman across from him, smiling on the phone and answering with a special ring to her tone…a ring that Soujiroh recognized when a young woman was talking to a young man.

"I'll meet you there," she said over the phone and with a quick polite goodbye she hung up.

Soujiroh watched her grab her school bag from the chair next to her, shoving her phone into a pocket.

"Yuki-chan! Do you have a date with a nice young man? I'll have to meet him you understand?" He smiled brightly at her, a teasing tone to his voice.

Yuki glanced up from her bag, snapping it shut.

"Oh…no, Nishikado-san! That is a classmate! We have a study group this afternoon for a test!" Her voice sounded almost desperate as if trying almost too hard to make Soujiroh believe her…scared he would see something there that wasn't there.

Yuki stood up, bowing politely as if thanking Soujiroh for her breakfast and tossed her bag over her shoulder.

"Is he a nice young man?"

Yuki glanced down at Soujiroh's question. A certain amount of pain seemed to wash through her. Soujiroh glanced up from his teacup. He could see the hurt in her eyes. It was instantaneous with his words. It was like watching all the hope melt from her face.

"Yes," she answered him nervously. "He is a very nice young man." She couldn't very well lie to him about it.

Soujiroh nodded.

"Give him a chance, Yuki-chan. You deserve a nice young man to cherish you."

He thought nothing of his words, speaking them with that caress he could add to his voice and tainting it with that brotherly affection. Yuki blinked as she stared down at Soujiroh for a moment, before looking away and readjusting the bag on her shoulder. She really didn't know what to say to that. Those words were like an ice bucket.

Soujiroh sat there watching the way she stilled at his suggestion, the way the melted hope seemed to pool around her feet and the despair and heartache seemed to take its place, darkening her eyes and putting out the sparkle they normally had. His heart thudded oddly in his chest as her hurt filled eyes shifted from him, no longer able to stand looking into the face of the one man she loved. She seemed to have trouble swallowing as she nodded her head slowly and turned from the table, nearly running from the room.

He couldn't truly understand her aversion to dating guys…or more specifically dating guys that were not him. Did she not want to find someone that would love and cherish her? Did she not understand that it would never be him? He would protect her…harm anyone who dare hurt her, but he would never be the one for her. And yet, he couldn't imagine his life without her in it…chasing him with hope in her eyes. He couldn't imagine his life without feeling the need to turn and run from her. How could any of that happen if she wasn't there in the same town? If she went to her parents, who would protect her from men like him?

And then he felt it…like a phantom of a memory, the soft pressure of her head on his arm…the warm presence of her body curled up in his lap, sound asleep and the cold air of relief and oddly anger when Akira took her from him.

He sat in the dining room, staring out the window, occasionally glancing at Yuki's empty seat. Akira had been right. He had to stop this. The hope he built up in her. Maybe he was at fault. Maybe he was the reason the hope kept returning and her tears kept coming.

But she wasn't like the other girls.

He couldn't simply dismiss their friendship.

He simply had to make things clear…more clear than he ever had before.

And she couldn't leave.

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Rui took a sip of his tea, glancing over the rim at his two friends. Something was going on. Even Makino could tell if her wide eyes dancing between the two was any indication.

"What did you want to discuss, Akira-san?"

Makino was more than just a little curious. Rui could see that and it brought a slight smile to his face as he looked down at her. Makino and Rui both noticed how Akira's eyes shifted to Soujiroh as if expecting him to say something or expecting some sort of interruption in his words, but Soujiroh made no move to interrupt; he sat silently scowling down at his cup of tea as he often did, mentally reprimanding whoever made it.

"Yuki-chan," Akira started. "I think her feelings for Soujiroh are only going to cause her more heartache than she deserves."

Makino watched Akira explain his concerns for her friend with wide eyes; Rui sat silently next to Makino, eyes shifting to Soujiroh gauging his reaction. Soujiroh took a sip of his tea, setting the cup down as Akira continued.

"…and despite my warnings it's not going to stop," Akira was still in the middle of his explanation. "I think the best thing for her is to get away…to go to her parents and I think she might listen to Makino before she does anyone else."

Akira's eyes rested on Makino. Her eyes darted around the table. He wanted her to tell her best friend to go away…to move away to where her parents were in order to forget Soujiroh? Her eyes fell on Soujiroh sitting there sipping his tea as if nothing was amiss. She didn't hear his heart beat or see the panic the way Rui saw it. His lips twitched as he pulled his tea cup to his face as if to hide his knowing smile. Makino was still thinking though. She had mentioned to her friend the idea of giving up on Soujiroh and she seemed incapable of doing so.

Sourjiroh tried to give the appearance of calm. They were talking about someone he considered a friend…a sister. And they wanted to take her away. He doubted Akira's belief that Makino would do it. After all, Makino often asked him when he was going to take her for a ride on his bike…her own hope for them seemed to mirror Yuki's and Makino would not want to make her friend unhappy.

So, when Makino answered it was a little more than shocking.

"Sure, Akira-san," she said. "I'll talk to her. I'm sure I can convince her it's for the best for now."

The clattering sound of Soujiroh's tea cup slamming down onto its saucer echoed in the nearly empty café and the scraping of the chair legs against the hard floor seemed to cut across their conversation like nails on a chalkboard.

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It was the only thing he could think to do as he watched her step out of her tea ceremony class and turn walking toward him, not even noticing his presence ahead of her, initially.

It was the only thing he could think to do to guarantee she would not leave him…not now.

It was a single moment of desperation that propelled him forward, shocking Yuki when his approach did not slow and his arms wrapped around her tightly, holding her close, bent over to rest his head against her own.

"Please, Yuki-chan," he whispered. "Don't leave me."

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Her heart was still pounding in her chest as she paced around her room re-telling the story to Akira who sat in her window sill, head leaning against the frame and watching her movements. She didn't seem able to sit still, as if Soujiroh's simple hug and request had filled her to the rim with so much hope that it flowed through her veins like a drug, propelling her to move about.

"What do you think, Akira-san?" She turned to him. He watched the way her hair caressed her shoulders with her sudden movement in his direction. His lips turned up at the bright light that seemed to shine in her eyes and what could he possibly say? Could he tell her not to trust Soujiroh and tear that light from her eyes? Could he snatch that abundance of hope from her like a thief in the night?

"Yuki-chan, I think any man would be fool to not fall for you."

Okay, so he didn't technically respond directly to her belief that Soujiroh might actually love her. He didn't lie to her either. Despite her abundance of hope and glee, Akira remained in the window until she finally settled into her bed and fell asleep, this time tear free and then he disappeared into the night.

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"Are you sure we will be able to get in?"

Makino looked at her friend.

"Of course we will! Rui will be waiting for us."

Yuki nodded, excitement filling her. True, Soujiroh had become nothing more than a ghost in the house since the night he asked her not to leave, never appearing except in time to go to sleep and usually Yuki was in her room listening for his return. But the hope still burned like a fire and with each replay of his sudden hug and his pleading words just made that fire grow. So, with the absence of seeing Soujiroh and the approach of her birthday, she grew excited and over anxious when Rui suggested to Makino that the two young women meet him outside the club where he would only too easily get them in and into their special room over looking the club.

Would Soujiroh be there waiting for her? Was the bracelet for her and this was the night he would give it to her? Her heart pounded with excitement as her feet clicked against the pavement as her and Makino approached the lone member of the F4 waiting outside the club, a small smile lighting his face at Makino's approach. The doorman paid them no more attention than a slight nod as they entered the club. Rui nodded his hello back to the man and escorted the two young women into the main room, where the pounding music and the throbbing lights made Yuki feel like she may have just entered a dream. The stairs to the room was just across the dance floor and Rui led the two young women deftly through the crowd, sure not to lose either of them.

The pounding in Yuki's heart only increased as they climbed those infamous steps…the steps leading to a room meant only for the F4 and whoever they deemed worthy of an invitation. Her dream was for Soujiroh to be there, not running from her, waiting for her. The door opened for them and with a small smile of hope and excitement, Yuki followed after Rui and Makino.

"Happy birthday," his voice said in a near seductive whisper as he passed the long wrapped box to the young woman on his arm.

She unwrapped the box with so much less enthusiasm than what Yuki would have and still she smiled and squealed in delight at the delicate jeweled bracelet sitting there. Yuki froze watching Soujiroh's near perfect hands lift the bracelet she had chosen from the box and wrap it around the woman's wrist. Yuki stood there frozen, watching in silence. This was the simple yet beautiful woman the bracelet was bought for? This was his idea of simple yet beautiful? Across the room she caught her reflection in the mirror. It wasn't her. It would never be her. If that was his idea of simple yet beautiful then she was nothing more than an ogre to him.

Akira froze with his hand on the married woman's face. His eyes frozen on Yuki, watching the way her chin quivered when her eyes seemed to land on her own reflection. His eyes shifted to Soujiroh who ran his hand gently up the young woman's arm after placing the bracelet on her, not even realizing Yuki had arrived let alone Rui. Akira knew that was the bracelet Yuki had chosen. It was bad enough that Soujiroh had Yuki choose a bracelet for another woman, but to see him give it to her as well? And after his attempts at ensuring she would stay. When Soujiroh realized Rui had arrived, his eyes shifted and his movements seemed to still when he saw Yuki standing there, tears building up in her eyes, pale and shaking. No one could be sure she was even breathing.

And then it was like something had broken…no shattered to a million pieces inside Yuki. She would never be the one. She would always just be the go to girl when he needed help buying gifts for others, the habit he couldn't break and the one he always ran from like a disease. And this gorgeous woman on the sofa with him was his idea of simple yet beautiful. Her mouth was moving, she could feel it, she could see it in her ugly reflection, but she could hear nothing but the rushing sound of her own blood being pumped quickly through her body echo in her ears.

"No more…no more…no…"

"Yuki-chan!" Akira stood up, forgetting his date.

She shook her head, her eyes stuck on her own reflection as if she weren't really seeing it at all, but as if the mirror were showing her something else. Soujiroh saw it. He did not see the hope melt off her face as he had in the past only to be replaced moments later. What he saw was something break…something that had never truly broken before. It was like seeing a different Yuki appear before him almost instantaneously.

She could not take being in the same room with him; she couldn't take being in the same room as that bracelet and she really couldn't take staring into that god awful reflection of hers. No wonder Soujiroh was always running away.

And before anyone could stop her, Yuki turned and ran from the room.

**A/N: **I recently posted chapter 13 on my LJ. So, if you want to read there, go ahead, but don't forget to drop a line to let me know!


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I so obviously do not own any of this.

**Chapter Eight**

It took a moment for Soujiroh's brain to catch up to what was going on around him. It was Rei-chan's birthday. She didn't like the over done jewelry most of his girlfriends appreciated, so once again he had taken Yuki to help choose her gift. How he to know thatYuki was going to be there when he gave the bracelet to Rei-chan? How was he to know that witnessing this innocent act would not simply push the hope away for a while, but break her?

His mind raced to catch up to the simple facts of what was going on around him. But everyone seemed to move at once as the tears welling up in Yuki's eyes threatened to spill. She turned, fleeing the room…for once, running _from_ him. Akira stood, his date forgotten, and chased after her. Makino moved to go after her friend, but was stopped just as quickly by Rui's hand wrapped around her arm, holding her back. He shook his head at Makino.

"Let Akira handle it," Rui said softly to her.

She looked at Rui strangely, as if trying to read his thoughts. Then, her eyes grew wide as some sort of understanding occurred to her, as if she had indeed read Rui's mind. And suddenly, Makino was in no hurry to go after Yuki. Instead, her now glaring eyes turned to Soujiroh.

The sudden silence was broken when Akira's date stood, smiling politely at the room.

"Please," she said looking at Makino. "Would you tell Akira-san I understand?" Her eyes flickered to Soujiroh for only a moment. "And also tell him, he is correct. She is indeed a lovely young woman and she does deserve so much better. Wish him luck for me." With a slight bow to a stunned Makino, the older woman left.

Soujiroh watched the woman leave, her words echoing in his mind with all the other clutter of activity that had taken place in the five minute span of time. Soujiroh politely excused himself with the promise to return and left the room at a calm pace. It wasn't until the door shut behind him that he broke out into a run across the club and out the door into the pouring rain.

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Her feet pounded against the pavement in her desperate attempt to escape him…to escape the hold he had on her and the pain that came with it. She welcomed the rain when it burst from the clouds, pouring down over her. Her only hope was that the rain could wash it all away, baptize her in its purity and make her whole again.

She paid little attention to where she was running, allowing her subconscious to lead her.

Akira was counting on it.

Knowing Yuki well enough to know where it all started for her…where Soujiroh had found her and picked her up…willing to put the pieces back together that another had broken apart.

And Akira was waiting on that corner, having taken a faster route. Through the blur of her tears she saw him standing there in the rain, his hair wet and dripping, but so calm looking. Her pace didn't slow and Akira welcomed her to him, arms open, prepared for her crashing into him desperate for his warmth. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. Never had he seen her cry quite so hard, never had she cried out like some part of her had died.

His arms were warm and comforting despite the rain, reminding her of the other times he held her while she cried…the times he sat in her window lately and let her cry or watched her happily talk of his friend. He always knew what to say. In her mind she could still see her reflection…so ugly compared to that woman's…something Soujiroh could never love.

Her emotions were spilling from her in a torrent of tears and fear. She wanted…no she _needed_ to feel wanted, to feel loved and she needed it right then. Soujiroh had done more than just break her heart; he had ripped it out with his bare hands and left her bleeding and hollow. She wanted…needed to feel _something_. Her heart pounded against her chest. The cocoon of warmth Akira had created with his body seemed to burn into her skin, warming her every fiber. Beneath her ear she could hear his heart pounding at an erratic pace. His breath, brushed across her neck, sending fire through her veins. Yuki pulled away and looked up into his dark eyes.

She needed to feel loved…wanted.

She needed someone to change that reflection of herself.

She needed to know that she was worth having…worth the sacrifice of many women.

And more than anything she needed his warmth…now.

Akira was taken off guard, distracted by the strange shadow of something burning in her eyes. In one swift, quick, almost hungry movement she stood on her tiptoes, arms moving up his chest, one hand moving up into his hair as she pulled him down to meet her halfway. When her lips collided with his, the shock rendered him defenseless. The cold rain had done nothing to cool her off; he could feel her body heat like fire pouring from her lips.

Her lips moved against his like a starving woman, hungry for his taste. And Akira had no choice. His mind seemed to forget everything around them, becoming hyperaware of only Yuki…her body flush against his, her lips moving against his demanding to be kissed…to be wanted. And in a flash it was like a duel for control…for the power to control that moment…that kiss, fighting to overtake the other…fighting to tamper down that hunger while unwilling or possibly unable to stop themselves. For a moment it was as if they were each other's air and Yuki had been holding her breath for too long…much too long and now wanted nothing more than to inhale as much as she could at once.

But this wasn't his Angel.

This wasn't his Yuki…this was a broken Yuki…fighting to feel what Soujiroh took away. This wasn't the first kiss he was meant to have with Yuki. It wasn't supposed to be tainted by the heartache, anger and self-loathing that Soujiroh created. It was supposed to be different. His hands found their way to her shoulders where he held her gently, pushing her back only slightly, enough to get her attention.

She looked up at Akira through heavy eyelids, curious why he stopped and then it seemed to hit her…what she had just done. Her gasp was soft, verbal evidence of how appalled she was with herself and her hand reached up touching her lips as if unsure they really belonged to her or that she was really there. The horror in her eyes was enough to cause that fire of anger to burn a little more. Akira's eyes slowly looked up, past Yuki at his friend standing drenched in the rain, watching them.

Soujiroh was frozen watching the way Yuki devoured his friend. This could not be _his_ Yuki. It just couldn't be. Had he pushed her too far to some metaphorical edge she was now falling off of? Had he caused those tears that still streamed down her face? It was just a bracelet! And yet, he seemed to know it wasn't just the bracelet. He could see it in his mind, every wink, every smile, every playful remark followed by reiterating she would never be the one…she would always just be Yuki…the irritating girl that followed him around. Soujiroh had done everything he could to make her see that he did not want her; he was just a playboy so how did that turn into her feeling unwanted period? How did that turn into such a desperate need of affection that she would kiss Akira in such a way….on their corner? Had he broken her that deeply? Had he shattered her this time? Had he torn her heart out with his bare hand and now she was so desperate to get it back that she was willing to go through Akira for it? What had he done to Yuki?

When his eyes met Akira's he saw it coming. He saw the anger that had been welling up for weeks now…the anger that seemed to have finally filled him to the rim. Behind him he could hear the thudding feet of followers, Makino and Rui, but he didn't turn around. He knew what was coming and he deserved it.

Akira's fists were clutched at his side as he took several quick strides past Yuki heading straight for Soujiroh. He raised one fist, poised and ready to strike without stilling his momentum forward. Soujiroh stood there, waiting for it. The force of Akira's fist, driven by the added momentum of his launch forward drove Soujiroh to the ground with a sickening crunch sound.

Yuki turned at the sound. Her eyes grew wide at the sight of Soujiroh on the ground, blood coming from his nose and showing no movement to fight back. Akira pulled his fist back to hit him again, but Rui moved forward, grabbing Akira from behind and pulling him back.

"No," Rui said to Akira.

Makino ran to Yuki, arms wrapping around her friend.

Soujiroh wiped the blood from his face.

"No," he said almost defeated at Rui. "Let him hit me."

Soujiroh stood up, looked across the scuffle of Rui holding Akira back at Yuki and her tear stained, pale face and he realized he could hardly recognize her anymore. What had become of her in her chase to be everything he wanted? He looked at Rui and Akira again.

"Let him go, Rui. I deserve this."

Rui, warily let go of Akira and Akira did not hesitate to hit Soujiroh again. And again, Soujiroh stood there, waiting for it, tumbling to the ground with the impact. Yuki tried to move forward, but Makino pulled her back.

"Get her home," Rui whispered and despite Yuki's protests Makino pulled her from the scene and into the car Rui called for.

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Her memories of getting home were hazy as if she were not experiencing it at all, but rather watching it on a television with very little reception. Nothing was clear. The only thing she knew was that she was broken, shattered from the inside out. She felt numb when she entered the Nishikado house. She just barely remembered the far away sounds of Natsumi's worried voice that soon grew angry as Makino spoke for her. Together, Natsumi and Makino were nothing but angry rumbling sounds that had no clear distinct words in Yuki's ears.

She didn't even have a clear concise memory of how she got into her room. Only that she was there at some point, tucked beneath the covers that seemed to do nothing to warm her, yet she couldn't remember covering herself…she couldn't remember feeling anything. And it was that numb empty nothingness that seemed to anchor her to her own private hell…trap her in the darkness.

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Akira sat on the ledge of the window watching the way the moonlight fell across her floor. She didn't move, laying there, eyes unmoving…almost unfocused it seemed. And when she would sleep it was with tears falling from her closed eyes.

Almost every night he sat there on that ledge, watching…waiting for his Yuki to reappear. During the day when he wasn't there, he wondered if she had left her room…if she had eaten…if she was going to her tea ceremony classes. Every night he found her lying there, motionless except for the slight rise and fall of her chest in her breathing. She said nothing to him, not acknowledging he was even there. And yet, he sat there watching and waiting. He would watch the time for her tea ceremony class come and go without a sound or hint of a desire to attend the class from Yuki. It wasn't until she had missed classes for a week that he finally said something to her.

"Yuki-chan, you will miss your tea ceremony class again."

She heard his words as if he were in some distant tunnel. But he wasn't in some distant tunnel…she was and the darkness kept a tight hold of her. She let out a long breath, her eyes moving up to look at Akira standing over her. It was a strange feeling. She knew he was there every night. She could hear his soft breaths when he fell asleep and she could feel his very presence in the room like her own private sun sitting in the corner waiting to be allowed to shine.

"Why would I go anymore?" Her voice was dry and hoarse from lack of use. She closed her eyes as the mere mention of that class brought a strange emotion to her…the pain that like everything else had become so numb. And when the tears slowly fell from her eyes, they felt so foreign.

Akira felt the pounding of his own heart and the slow chipping of its edges with each tear she cried. She looked so broken…so helpless, lost and flailing in that darkness her pain had taken her and he dropped to his knees at her bedside, ready and willing to pull her out of her hell.

Never had Akira been so unsure when it came to women. He knew how to handle them, crying, laughing or angry, but Yuki…Yuki made him ache at her pain, sent his mind in spirals of confusion and made him feel helpless. He reached out slowly. His only thoughts were to make the tears go away, to bring back her smile.

She used to welcome the comfort he offered, reaching out when he did, embracing the warmth he had to offer. This time was different. Akira stilled, frozen in place when Yuki saw him reaching for her and she cringed back away from him, desperate to avoid any contact, any feeling. Akira watched stunned and lost as to what to do as Yuki turned, her back now facing him and curled up into a near fetal position, body shivering as if she were frozen and pushing away any offer of comfort…any offer of warmth.

"Go," she whispered in that same broken, hoarse voice.

"I'm not leaving you, Yuki-chan," he whispered.

She shivered again.

"I don't want you here."

He backed away at the coolness of her voice, still broken from the lack of use, but it was as if her words had been bathed in the ice that seemed to be freezing her on the inside. He didn't know what else he could possibly do, but give her what she wanted.

Yuki closed her eyes as she heard his whispered goodbye.

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Soujiroh refused to eat dinner at home and he avoided any family breakfast like the plague. His mother was unbearable, angry and bitter at her own son because of Yuki's fantasies of them having a future and the consequent devastation she caused herself. Or so Soujiroh kept telling himself.

"I don't know what to do," Natsumi said to her husband, concern coloring everything she did or said. "She won't even come out of that room. Perhaps Akira-san was right. Perhaps we should send her to her parents for a bit."

Soujiroh looked up from his plate at his mother's words, already hating the fact that he couldn't get out of yet another dinner, but that was only because his parents were leaving right after for another business trip.

"There is no need to do that," Soujiroh said wondering when his mother and friend discussed Yuki. "It will pass," he continued. "It always does."

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Soujiroh sat there silently watching Akira tickle his little sisters into fits of giggles before they each kissed him on a cheek before running out of the room to go to bed. There was never any doubt in Soujiroh's mind as to why Akira usually dated older women. His mother was nothing more than an oversized child with two little girls to tow around. Of course Akira wanted someone more mature. The married part was simply his fear of commitment and what man didn't have that…except maybe Rui or Tsukasa?

Akira reached for his tea, taking a sip as his eyes lingered on a pretty flowery package sitting on the table. He had tried, night after night after the first night she pulled away from him almost frightened of his touch, but it was always the same. Yuki continued to withdraw from his comfort…his touch was no longer wanted…it was feared.

And finally, Akira had to face the truth.

She didn't want him there…no one could pull her out of her darkness…no one except herself…or Soujiroh.

"You know, she stopped going to her tea ceremony classes," Akira said as he sat his tea cup down.

Soujiroh looked up, Akira's words stilling his movements for a moment.

"What?"

Akira rolled his eyes.

"Come now, Soujiroh. Surely you've noticed no one has seen her since that night?"

Soujiroh shrugged as if suddenly remembering himself and picked his tea cup back up. Akira grabbed the feminine package and slid it into his pocket.

"Let's go to your house," Akira said. "I never got a chance to give Yuki-chan her gift."

Soujiroh stood up.

"Gift?"

Akira stared into his eyes, inside thinking maybe Yuki would eventually be better off once she got past it all.

"The night you gave Rei-chan the bracelet you had Yuki-chan choose?"

Soujiroh nodded his head as if to say he remembered, he knew what night he was referring to.

"That was Yuki-chan's birthday."

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She felt nothing, but the deep chill that had taken root in her very soul it seemed. It gave her the chills, leaving her shivering beneath the covers. Never again would she let it get that far again. Never would she be left with nothing but shattered pieces of her heart. It felt empty…as if part of her very heart was missing and it made her laugh. How could she feel that now when her heart was never whole to begin with? She had given too much of it to Soujiroh, leaving herself broken, fractured...never to be whole again.

Her eyes, dry, having no more tears to cry, stared at the chawans sitting upon the table, the center piece being the one Soujiroh took her out to buy. And in the darkness she could see herself, foolishly giving him more of her heart that day, grasping a hold of that hope she seemed to thrive on, not realizing that thread of hope she clung to was nothing more than the noose around her neck, tightening with every wink, every heart beat, every smile. She climbed from the bed, slowly walking toward that table, ignoring the protest of her muscles and her very will.

She stood before the table, remembering those tea ceremony classes, remembering why she took them. Her fingers caressed the broken first chawan…the one Soujiroh urged her to keep to remind her how she's improved. Her mind flashed with the memories of him waiting for her after classes as if he was proud of her and remembering the hope it would build in her. And those memories were tainted with those women…always so beautiful or his words always so blunt, yet cutting so deep. She would never be the one.

Her door was left partially open…an untouched tray of food still sitting by the door on a small table.

"Yuki-chan?"

Soujiroh had not seen her in over a week. He didn't expect to find her room door opened where food was taken to her. He didn't expect to see her standing there, so much thinner than before, dark circles beneath her eyes and pale. He didn't expect to see her standing before the small table of chawans, his one gift to her in the center.

He remained in the doorway, unwilling still to cross that threshold. She was like a strange apparition of herself, ghostly even in her movements. Her fingers moved from the broken chawan to the one he bought her…the one of a kind. Her fingers wrapped around it, lifting it from its spot and she stared down at it as if seeing something else. Akira stepped forward slightly, concern on his face. Soujiroh barely crossed the threshold of her room, still staying back unsure of being in her room…unsure of what had become of Yuki.

One of a kind. That was her chawan. The one Soujiroh bought her; the chawan that always seemed to represent so much hope for her. She held it close to her heart for a moment, eyes closing and new found tears forming again. Soujiroh stepped back. She was tired of feeling nothing. She was tired of the utter dark numbness of her being. And as she held the chawan…the chawan that came from the man holding her heart she realized she wanted it back…she realized she had no choice but to take it back and never again would he cause her this pain…this icy darkness that burned.

And Soujiroh never saw it coming.

It was so sudden, so unexpected.

She simply let go.

She let the chawan fall from her hands, slipping through her grip and crashing to the floor. The sound of the chawan shattering into a thousand pieces echoed in the silence of the room. She watched it fall, every inch of its fall burned into her memory. And its shattering impact with the floor seemed to vibrate through her being. She inhaled deeply as she watched the pieces scatter at her feet as if she were watching those chains around her heart break apart. And for a split second a dark fear gripped her heart.

She could barely remember not loving Soujiroh…not chasing after him…not waiting on him and yet she knew when she let go of that chawan that she was letting go of so much more.

"Yuki-chan!" Soujiroh stared wide eyed at the pieces of the chawan at her feet. He watched her, waiting for her to say something, do something, but she just stared down at the pieces in silence. He took a chance and took another step forward. Slowly, her eyes looked up from the broken pieces of the only thing Soujiroh had ever given her.

"I'm taking it back, Nishikado-san," she said in a soft voice that shook with fear. He looked confused at first wondering what she was taking back. "I'm taking back every little piece of my heart I gave you. You don't get to have this power over me."

Soujiroh looked at her with wide eyes, some small part of him screaming to stop her, his eyes continuously glancing down at the shattered chawan.

"There's not enough left to break anymore, Nishikado-san. I'm taking all of it back," her voice began to die down to a whisper as if she was losing power, as if everything was crashing down on her. "I'll never be hurt by you again. You'll never have that power again…never."

**A/N: **Don't forget to review...it actually helps me to feel like writing this. Also, I just posted chapter 14 on my LJ if you want to go there, just don't forget to leave a comment if you do.


	10. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing related to Hana Yori Dango...if I did...it would have ended differently.

**A/N: **Sorry, I'm so far behind posting on here. Up to chapter 22 is posted on my LJ, but no one seems to be reading it here, so posting here just seems like a lost cause.

**Chapter Nine**

She was beyond embarrassed. She was mortified…horrified at her behavior toward Akira. Had she really grabbed him on a street corner and kissed him so thoroughly? The reminder flushed her cheeks. Akira sat perched in the window laughing at her embarrassment. Her small delicate hand covered her face in nothing short of humiliation and she smiled nervously as she apologized, eyes darting back to her dresser in a nervous attempt to not look at him.

Akira was relieved. For that moment it was the old Yuki again. The one that blushed so easily…the one that was not so obviously running away from her pain. He stood up out of the window and stepped over to the young woman. She folded a pair of pants, laying them gently in her suitcase.

"Look at me, Yuki-chan."

She turned to face him, but still looked down at her feet. Akira reached out, his hands gently taking her face and turning her to look up at him. His thumbs moved over her cheeks and he smiled.

"I've always liked your blush."

He chuckled as he felt the warmth beneath his fingers increase.

"You have no reason to be embarrassed, Yuki-chan. It was an understandable reaction under the circumstances."

She said nothing, only nodding once to let him know she heard him. Akira dropped his hands from her face and stepped back, leaning against her desk. He watched her bustle around the room, picking up odds and ends and sticking them in her suitcase. There was still that shadow lingering over her. She was fighting her feelings for Soujiroh, pushing them as far away from her as she could right down to distancing herself from him, physically. Akira glanced down next to him. Her plane ticket sat there on the desk. He picked it up, looking it over and then glanced up at the young woman standing before him, fully packed and needing her ticket. The corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile.

He would miss her while she was gone.

He held the ticket out to her and waited for her fingers to grip the paper before he tightened his hold as if counting on her refusal to let go of her escape to keep her rooted to the spot. He stared into her eyes as she did just as he thought, standing there, and holding one end of the ticket as if stuck. He briefly wondered if he could just keep her like this until the plane left. He took a deep breath and leaned forward as he stood straight up again. His lips brushed her now pale cheek.

"Be safe, Yuki-chan." He let go of the ticket and walked toward her window pausing to turn around and say one last thing.

Yuki turned to watch him go.

"I'll be waiting for you."

She smiled ever so slightly as Akira disappeared from the window. She took one last look around the room, determined that she would return renewed, refreshed; determined that a new Yuki would return, one that could be around Soujiroh without the pain.

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A light kiss across her cheek, barely touching her like a butterfly's wing tickling her made her giggle. Soujiroh inhaled the sweet smell of her perfume as he whispered seductively into her ear, his hand draped over another girl's shoulders, fingers teasing her neck with gentle tickling caresses. This was how it was supposed to be. Soujiroh surrounded by his girlfriends, their giggles making him smile and yet it didn't feel right. The vision of Yuki letting that chawan fall from her fingers kept cropping up, erasing his smile and creating a worry line that only made his girlfriends simper and try too hard to please him.

She had agreed to let him go. She had announced she was taking her heart back…the heart he never asked for and yet her pale tear stained face kept popping into his head. Perhaps it was simply because since she made that pronouncement he had not seen her. It was like she was some ghost living in the room next to his, not even visible during family meals.

He sighed and pulled away from the giggling girl.

How could Yuki giving him exactly what he wanted have ruined his night so? How was it she kept popping into his head? How was it that when he didn't see her every day, when she wasn't chasing him with all that hope, he couldn't get her off his mind?

There was really only one thing for it.

He leaned forward, taking his drink from the table and in a swift motion, he poured the contents down his throat, ignoring the burn of alcohol as it enflamed his veins.

"Now," he said, leaning back and pulling the two girls closer. "Exactly where were we?" His mouth found the area on her neck that would melt her…turn her into putty in his hands as he turned to the other.

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When she stepped foot on the plane, she was alone…absolutely alone. Natusumi had been in tears not willing to let her go and making her promise to return. Makino had hugged her tightly, making her promise to at least stay in touch even if she chose to stay with her parents. Rui had been as sweet as ever, smiling next to Makino and wishing her well. Akira hugged her, his words as soothing as ever and reiterating his promise to wait for her.

Soujiroh was no where to be found.

He had no clue Yuki was leaving and that was just the way she wanted it. She did not want Soujiroh to have another chance to sway her with a few well placed words, sugar coated with a smile and a wink.

Letting go of Soujiroh so completely was something that had to be done alone.

And that was what she explained to Akira upon his offer to accompany her.

So, when she stepped onto the plane it was with everything left behind…everything, including Soujiroh. She politely squeezed her way past an old married couple to the window seat. She sat next to the old woman and began straightening herself in her seat and adjusting her bag. Her eyes wandered around the plane for a moment before settling out the window and at the young man standing in the window of the terminal, head slightly tilted to the side, watching her plane with not even a smile on his face.

Akira stared at the plane, knowing that sitting in one of those windows was Yuki. When he was in her room, he didn't want to let her go, but somehow that feeling was so much different from what he felt staring at that plane. How often had he climbed through her window and just sat there with her? How often had he picked up the broken pieces Soujiroh left in his wake? Akira ran his hand through his hair and leaned forward placing his arm on the large window and leaning his head on that arm. Fear had taken a hold of him…choking his heart with vice grips.

He understood why she was going to her parents; he had even encouraged it. He knew she needed to get away, to give herself time to get over Soujiroh. And she so desperately needed to be over him…Akira _wanted_ her to be over him. But there was this fear, it was sudden and hit him so thoroughly the only thing he could do was rely on the window for support.

What if she decided not to come back?

He straightened up, dropping his hands from the glass and putting them in his pockets. It was simple. He knew what to do. If she decided not to come back, then there would be only one thing he could do.

He would go get her.

It wasn't until she was settled fully in her seat that Yuki relaxed and reached into her bag. She felt around for her lip gloss, but something silky brushing across her fingertips distracted her from her search. She knew what it was, a ribbon. What she didn't know was how she had something with a ribbon in her bag. Her hands wrapped around a small package and she pulled it out of her purse.

The wrapping paper was a pristine white and the ribbon was a pale pink. She looked at the package suspiciously. Who would have done such a thing? A tiny folded square of paper was folded beneath the ribbon. The old woman watched Yuki take the piece of paper, setting the package in her lap. She slowly unfolded the paper and read the neat script of Akira's writing.

_Your_ _everything after_

_Forever and Always._

Yuki's forehead scrunched up in confusion.

"I don't understand," she whispered.

"You silly girl," the old woman said. "I know that look. You are running from something. Your heart belongs to another…or belonged," she corrected at the look on Yuki's face.

Yuki nodded.

"He's waiting, dear," the old woman said, pointing out the window. "Waiting for you to be ready to move on. He wants to be everything after."

Yuki looked at the old woman as if she had snakes coming out of her head. That was ridiculous. Akira liked those older women and the married ones. He was the only one that could rival Soujiroh's fear of commitment. Yuki sat the paper in her bag and looked down at the package again, slowly unwrapping it. Beneath the white paper was a long velvet box. She swallowed the lump in her throat before she began to open it…worried about what it might really be.

She wasn't expecting to find what she did.

Inside the velvet box was a beautiful platinum bracelet adorned with delicate pink sapphires and diamonds. She blinked. Her fingers nervously reached out to caress the delicate piece of jewelry. It was breath taking.

Before they landed, not only was Yuki wearing the bracelet, but the old woman had taken to talking to Yuki enough to tell her what a playboy her husband was when they were younger and how little attention he paid to her. Yuki had to bite her tongue during that conversation. But when they landed and began to get off the plane, she couldn't help but to watch the way the man held his wife's hand as if it were the first time, the way he looked down into her eyes as if he could be lost in them forever and that was okay with him. And for a moment it made Yuki's heart ache to know this man looking at his wife so lovingly had essentially been her Soujiroh.

Yuki stepped off the plane and into the terminal, her watery eyes searching for home. And she found it, waiting on her with that knowing look and open arms. Yuki ran straight into her mother's arms, the tears breaking free and pouring from her eyes. Her mother's soothing shushing sounds were like a warm blanket wrapping around her and it was wonderful, comforting to realize she was home.

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Soujiroh stood outside the building, watching the various women leaving and all of them looking at him giggling. He always did attract much attention from the opposite sex. But he was actually there for only one reason…for one girl. Each girl that stepped out of the building he hoped to be Yuki-chan. It had been days since he had last seen her and that simple fact alone was almost unsettling. They lived in the same house after all, but her room remained silent at night and not once did she turn up where he was at, searching for him.

He was hard pressed to admit that Yuki had become such an ingrained part of his life since she entered it with her heartbreaking tears and her naïve hope that when she was not in his life, he felt as if something was missing….something important. He shook his head at the very thought of her importance in his life and watched for her exit.

He began to wonder where she was at, what was keeping her as the number of students dwindled. He knew from the past there were times when he had, according to Akira, hurt her and she could be found staying after class alone in the room as if the time alone allowed her to gather her hope back up, piece it back together in order to face him with that bright smile.

Akira had called earlier for him to meet "everyone" at the café. He had no doubt Yuki would be coming as well. With that in mind, he had sent his many girlfriends on their way for the evening and found himself staked outside the school where Yuki took her tea ceremony class, waiting to escort her to the cafe.

He had days since Yuki's pronouncement that she was taking her heart back from him to think things through…to live his life without her presence…without her hopeful smile and he found himself looking for it. He found himself to be uneasy and unfocused. And he remembered the Yuki he met the first time…the Yuki that stormed from the room indignant at his words about her friend and her relationship with Tsukasa. Even then he said he didn't know what to do with her kind of girl. She wasn't a girl to be played with. But at least that Yuki stood her ground and would take no abuse from him. The more he thought of the Yuki he saw day after day the more he realized how she had changed. How she had shifted from that strong willed girl to a very broken young woman only hoping he could love her one day.

For how long had he been chipping pieces of her heart away?

So, maybe it was time he made a conscientious effort to not hurt her…to not flaunt his playful lifestyle in her face. He could let her know that he did not see her as anything beyond a friend or sister without prancing his girlfriends in her face.

His thoughts came to a sudden stop when he saw Yuki's instructor stepping out of the school. His eyes swept over the building, noting the darkness within and watched her instructor heading toward the gate. He waited until she was right inside the gate and she noticed his presence to say anything. He bowed greeting her politely. The woman, much older and closer to the age of a grandmother smiled at the young man as if she knew much more than he did.

"You will not find Yuki-chan here," she said.

She nodded politely as if that should be the end of the conversation and continued on her way past him. Soujiroh ran ahead, catching up to the older woman in only two strides.

"Then where can I find her?"

The woman stopped suddenly and turned to face the confused playboy. Her head shook slightly. Her hand reached out and lay across his chest over his heart.

"In here of course," she said with a smile. She dropped her hand. "Sometimes we bury things and they get lost. It is up to us to find them again."

Soujiroh sighed, irritated. Did she teach tea ceremony classes or tasseomancy? The woman turned to leave again. She took two steps when Soujiroh dove forward again.

"Well, was she in class?"

The woman kept walking and shook her head.

"No, Nishikado-san. She quit a week ago."

Soujiroh stopped dead in his tracks, the older woman continued on, not even glancing over her shoulder at the young man. He watched her disappear around the corner, still standing there reeling from her words. Yuki quit her tea ceremony class a week ago? Was that or was that not around the time she made her pronouncement to not allow Soujiroh her heart again?

He stood there on the corner for a moment, looking back at the building her class was held in. He never thought she would quit the tea ceremony class. It was unfathomable. Why would she do that? Was that class and her desire for knowledge of the ceremony so wrapped up in her feelings for him, her desire to be everything he wanted that without him the class was all for naught?

Of course it was.

He knew that…he always knew that. So, he wouldn't escort Yuki to the cafe, but he also would not arrive with even one girl. For once, he would go out with Yuki and his other friends alone and when they decided where to go from there, they would go as a group and maybe while they were out, Soujiroh would find some nice young man good enough for his Yuki-chan.

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"Yuki?"

She looked up from the book in her hand. She had been there for two weeks already and her mother did not cease in her concern for her daughter. Yuki had not given her specifics, not wanting her mother to be upset with her best friend's son. Her mother was not stupid though and knew without a doubt her daughter's melancholic behavior was the result of a broken heart. If only she knew just how broken.

Her mother took one look at her and slid into the room, closing the door behind her as if she wished for no one to hear their conversation. Her mother walked over to her bed and sat on the edge. Yuki lowered the book.

Her mother had hoped for her to improve when she arrived a week ago. That she would see some sign of improvement, but there seemed to be none. She kept her nose in her books and often was seen staring out the window.

Yuki glanced around her room as she waited for her mother to continue. Her room wasn't nearly as large as the one at the Nishikado house and the furniture was not her own, but some her mother bought when they had arrived in hopes her daughter would find the opportunity to visit between school semesters. This wasn't even the bed she slept in…cried in at the Nishikado house.

"Takahashi-san is in the other room for you," she said watching her daughter for some sort of agreeable reaction.

Yuki met Takahashi Kenji upon her arrival at her parents' home. From what her father said, he was a big name rising up in the business world. He was always at his office…always gathering investors for different ventures and always his mind was on work. Her mother often had invited him over, feeling sad for the young man being all alone and caring for nothing but work. Yuki did remind her mother that he was a bit older than her.

"Not that much older," her mother had said.

Yuki was not blind to the fact that her parents absolutely adored the idea of this man for their daughter. It only got worse when her mother mentioned Soujiroh as a prospect and Yuki all but burst out in tears.

Still, she was there only two days when he asked her to dinner and she politely refused. And he did not give up it seemed. Every night he would ask and every night she would refuse.

Yuki took a deep breath.

"He wants to take you to dinner, Yuki," her mother said. "You have got to get out of this room. Just give the nice man one evening."

She could see the concern on her mother's face and could only imagine what she was saying to Natsumi every time she called and she barely let a day go without calling. Yuki closed the book and slowly rose from her bed. Her mother was smiling quite pleased with her daughter as she followed her out of the room.

As Yuki slowly entered the room, her mother rushed ahead, pulling her father from the room.

Kenji watched her slow approach down the hall and into the room. She moved as if she were an apparition and her hands fidgeted nervously. His heart pounded in his chest. Her long dark hair fell over her shoulders as she looked down at her feet. He could see the declination on her face before he could even ask. It was always there, but he refused to give up. From the moment she stepped through that front door with her mother, his world had not just turned upside down, but he gravitated toward her, unwilling to be without her, aching for her when she wasn't near.

He wanted to protect her. He wanted to reach out and hold her, touch her, but feared what that would do to him…what doors that would open that could not be shut.

Yuki stood before the taller man. His hair was dark with a lighter shade highlighting the strands. It was a perfect mess atop his head, framing his eyes with the pieces that fell forward. His nose was of pure perfection, something you would see only in a work of art. She noticed his jaw muscles twitch as she looked up at him, his eyes dark yet they could appear so light depending on his mood.

"Takahashi-san," she whispered.

"Please, call me Kenji," he said, his voice so deep and demanding and yet it had a gentleness to it that caressed her tired nerves.

She nodded, looking down at her feet as if ashamed she just couldn't find it in her heart to feel the same way he so obviously did. How could she? She was still trying to gather those little pieces of her heart back from Soujiroh, mending her heart piece by piece. She heard him sigh.

"Yuki-chan," he said. "I'm asking for nothing more than dinner." He paused for a moment. "I know there was someone else and I know it's still hurting you." She looked up in near shock. "I can see it every time I ask you to dinner. I'm not asking anything from you. I'm just asking for a little of your time. Yes, I would gladly take that man's place in your heart, but I'm content with being your friend, Yuki-chan and waiting." He paused again as she looked back up at him. "Waiting for _you_ to come to _me_. Until then," he said reaching out taking her hand gently. "Let me be your friend…your shoulder to cry on."


	11. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **Nothing HYD related is mine as you should know.

**A/N: **I've had a few people messege me asking where my LJ is. I told you my name on LJ in the first chapter or the prologue...can't remember which and there is a link on my profile page.

I'm up to chapter 26 on my LJ...getting real close to the end, but not there yet. I have grown frustrated to be honest. No, not with the actual writing. I'm posting this chapter and one more, but am honestly unsure if this story will even remain here. Reviews actually inspire a writer, makes them want to produce another chapter to give you what happens next. I feel I must not be doing my job if I'm lucky to get four reviews at the most with the number of people that have this story on alert. I'm sorry, I have to go through a whole reformatting process to post here after LJ and it just doesn't seem worth it. Those of you that are reading and commenting on occasion are welcome to my LJ to read...you don't have to have an account, but a comment is nice (that can be done without an account). You'll also find the prologue and first chapter of my newest Yuki/Soujiroh story, "Everything," posted there.

**Chapter Ten**

Yuki was not at the café, either.

He sought her out for days after, wanting to discuss her decision to quit her tea ceremony class. Why, he couldn't be sure. He couldn't find her, no matter where he looked. He lingered outside her bedroom door one evening, leaning toward the closed room, straining to hear any sound.

There was only silence.

His hand hovered above the doorknob, deciding whether or not to do the unthinkable, whether or not to open her bedroom door and check. But that room was sacred…private…entering and crossing that threshold was entirely too personal. He dropped his hand back to his side and left, silently walking through the house and out the door.

Soujiroh sat down at the table at the café, looking between his friends. Makino was quickly folding a piece of paper and trying to subtly shove it in a pocket. Soujiroh's dark eyes turned to her.

"What is that?"

"Nothing," Makino said, her voice stilted and forced sounding.

Soujiroh gave no warning. His mind was already a mess, constantly watching for his suddenly absent shadow, he didn't need any mind games from her friend. He reached across the table and snatched the paper from her, ignoring her cry of outrage. Rui placed a hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

"He needs to know," Rui said.

Those words from Rui only served to begin Soujiroh's anger and put him on edge. Akira sipped his coffee, watching his friend for some sort of reaction. Soujiroh's heart thudded in his chest as he read the letter addressed to everyone at the table, except him. A letter from Yuki.

Soujiroh shook his head.

"This is a fabrication," he said tossing the letter at Makino.

Makino had that pitiful look of one who felt sorry for someone else. Soujiroh hated that look. He looked away at Akira. His friend wasn't smiling.

"Akira?"

He looked down at his coffee sitting on the table and Soujiroh could see the sadness he had so obviously been hiding. Akira looked up at Soujiroh.

"It's not a lie, Soujiroh. Yuki left Japan for a bit."

The sound of the chair scraping against the hard floor of the café echoed. Soujiroh said nothing to them. He fled the café, hopping on his bike and driving straight home. There was only one thing to do. Prove them wrong. Prove she was just pouting in her room.

He was like a storm going through the house. His entrance was not quiet, startling the servants with his abrupt entrance. His mother glanced up from her tea as her son stormed through the room, not even sparing her a glance. It was like he was in a tunnel. Nothing around him existed if it did not prove his so called friends wrong. Yuki would not leave the country. She would not run away. This was their pattern! But some part of Soujiroh pricked and poked reminding him that this time it was different. Never before had she told him she would never allow him the power to hurt her again…never had she taken her heart back.

The door blocking her room from public view meant nothing to Soujiroh in that moment. He didn't hesitate as he threw the door open and he didn't pause even for a second as he crossed that sacred threshold and stood in the middle of her room. The room seemed to spin around in his head, seeing it from all angles. And in none of those angles did he see any sign of Yuki.

Her bed looked unslept in…still made as it was the night she took it all back. Her school books from the previous semester sat in a corner of her desk, a slight sprinkling of dust over the top book. He shook his head. The semester ended two weeks ago, so she hadn't been using them…that had to be the reason for the dust. Still, that part of him that told him his friends were correct poked at him, laughing at his blatant disregard of the evidence.

His chest began to tighten.

His eyes landed on one of her drawers, partially opened and he took a tentative step toward the dresser. Pulling the already opened drawer open the rest of the way he peered in, not fearing finding anything he had never seen before. But fearing finding…nothing.

And that was what he found…in every drawer he frantically pulled open. Empty…all of them. He backed away from the dresser, turning to her closet and ignoring his friends standing in the door watching him, each with equal looks of pity on their faces. If he stopped to pay them any attention it would sicken him. He threw the closet door open and stilled.

There were some clothes in there, but not many. What he did find was a large gaping void where clothes so obviously were once hanging and on her closet floor where her suitcase probably was kept was…nothing. No where in her room did he find luggage.

He stepped from the closet, stopping in the middle of the floor and looking around, for the first time taking in the total emptiness of the room…the feeling of abandonment that poured from it and in his mind he could hear the muffled sounds of her tears in her pillows.

He shook his head again, glancing around the room. Next to her desk in the wastebasket were the shattered pieces of the chawan he bought her, the one she let go. He stood there, the room suddenly feeling so empty. She wasn't in this room. Not now. Not for a couple weeks. He didn't realize how empty he would feel when she left. He had to know this was coming at some point. It didn't change the way he felt. It didn't change the strange way his heart beat or the way he seemed to be suddenly memorizing every corner of the room.

And that was when he noticed it.

It was laying on the floor just beneath her window…a window that was only partially latched. He took a step closer to be sure he was right. Lying right there on Yuki's floor, beneath her window was Akira's lost cell phone and next to it, lying haphazardly were what appeared to be petals from the flowers outside her window. He took a couple quick strides to reach the phone and picked it up, turning to look at Akira, a look of betrayal dancing in his eyes.

"Why would your cell phone be in Yuki-chan's room?"

The edge to his voice caused Rui to step forward; worried he would need to stop a fight. Soujiroh felt more than betrayed. He remembered Akira offering to send Yuki away to her parents. Soujiroh held the phone tightly in his hand. So it was Akira's fault. He stepped forward, quickly, shoving Rui back and out of the way as the hand that held the phone tightly in his fist hit Akira with as much force as he could, sending Akira stumbling back.

Akira kept his balance, placing his hand on the door frame and using that to keep himself up as he wiped blood from his mouth. Rui moved forward, quickly grabbing Soujiroh to keep him back.

"You did this," Soujiroh accused.

Akira's own anger was growing. The accusation was only the icing on the cake. He wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and stood up straight, glaring at his long time friend.

"No, Soujiroh. _You _did this."

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It was only two weeks and those two weeks turned into several and those turned into months. Soujiroh watched the winter months die and the birth of spring with not one sign of Yuki, one word from her to him. Not once did his cell phone ring, not once did she come running around a corner after him, not once was she standing on the curb hoping he would invite her onto his motorcycle. Letters arrived for Makino, Akira and even Rui, but not him.

Akira would even call her on occasion, standing in the corner of some room as if Soujiroh didn't know. Every time he saw Akira on the phone with her, his mind betrayed him, playing the vision of her room over and over again and the cell phone that belonged to Akira lying by the window with brushed off flower petals. He was never truly satisfied with the answers that were given to him that day. Makino swore Yuki had mentioned finding the phone and returning it to him at the airport, but in the rush to leave she forgot.

That didn't matter anymore. Yuki was gone and he had to wonder if she planned to come back. Every morning and every night he would pass her room, sometimes opening her door just to see, but it was always the same. Just as she had left it…empty. There was no Yuki curled up on her bed having fallen asleep studying. There was no Yuki sitting at her desk doing homework. There was no Yuki to follow him around. And there was no sound of her muffled tears through the wall separating their rooms.

And eventually his life had to move on. He had to accept her disappearance from his life and it didn't come without consequences. In the most inappropriate times visions of her smiling face would rise up in his mind and as the months began to pass the sound of her soft voice began to fade from his memories. The sound of her voice became as muffled as her tears had been.

He stood in Yuki's empty room. Why did everyone get to still hear her voice except for him? Why was she so completely gone from his life? He looked down at Akira's phone as he turned it around and around in his hand. It would be a while before he noticed it missing. Even if he didn't love her the way she wished for him to, she was still such a part of his life. And all he wanted was a whisper.

He dialed her number with his friend's phone and tentatively held the phone to his ear, hoping no one would come in.

"Akira-san!" Her excited voice answered the phone, recognizing his friend's number.

He remained silent, listening to the soft sound of her breath as she waited for some sort of response.

"Hello?" She whispered.

Soujiroh closed his eyes, gripping the phone so tightly his fingers were turning white. He felt his hand shaking as she sighed into the phone.

"Akira-san," she said so softly, sounding more like the Yuki that had left. "I'm going to be fine. It will just take time." She was silent again…waiting for Akira to say something.

"I'll be back, Akira-san," she whispered. "I promise. One day, I will be back."

And it was with her whispered promise to his friend that Soujiroh took the phone and flung it as hard as he could across the room, slamming it into the wall where it broke into its many mechanical parts.

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"I'm not going back," she said. "Well, not yet."

Kenji slowly looked up from his plate and at the young woman sitting across from him. He observed her for a moment, slowly chewing his bite of food and then taking a sip of his wine, eyes never leaving her. He looked down for a moment as he set his wine glass down. He had to look away from her. Dinners with her were always so difficult. To sit across from her and feel this indescribable pull toward her…to want nothing more than to reach out and touch her, but fearing that simple touch could never be enough.

"Yuki-chan," he said looking back at her. "What about school?"

She smiled brightly, something that took a month or more for her to do around him. He loved her smile. She couldn't help but to want to stay…a little longer. The numbness that had reined through her body for what seemed like years now, but was only months had began to fade. She no longer felt like some broken shell of a person, a zombie, going through the motions of life. When she was in a room with Kenji, she felt…warmth…she felt heat radiating from his very being. She felt the need to be by him, to bathe in the emotions she could feel again around him. She could actually feel her heart beat again. There was no black void around him; there was only a rising heat that pumped her heart and threatened to burst into flames at any moment.

"I'm only going to take the semester off," she explained. "I'm not ready to leave yet, Kenji-san."

He couldn't deny the relief that washed over him. If Yuki was to go back to Japan in time for her next semester she would be leaving within the week. Kenji wasn't due back in Japan for another five months. He couldn't stand the thought of being away from her, not being able to be near her.

He took a bite of his food and watched the way Yuki sipped from her glass, glancing over the rim at him, her eyes dancing shadows. Every time she looked at him like that, his heart would thud a little erratically in his chest. Remembering how she looked upon her arrival to her parents' house, how heart broken she was, enraged him. How could anyone hurt Yuki in such a way? He would not allow her to be hurt like that again…he would not allow anyone to harm one hair on her pretty little head, even if they would only be friends.

But time changes all things.

The day she finally came to Kenji, he was at work, pacing around his office on the phone all day with investors and various other business men. It never failed. The day when an important party was taking place that evening was always a day of nothing but headaches at work. The only light he had at the end of the tunnel was that Yuki would be his companion for the evening, as she often was.

He had kept his promise. He remained her friend only, accepting that was what she wanted and willing to give Yuki whatever she wanted while hoping one day she would come to him. He escorted her to all these parties and always introduced her to any business associates not as his girlfriend, but as the daughter of a business associate.

And this evening would be no different, just as the day's headaches were no different. On the phone, irritated, he jerked his tie off and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his white shirt. The day seemed worse than usual.

"You have until Friday," he said with a very commanding and angry voice, not at all like how he would talk to Yuki.

He hung the phone up and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up when his office door suddenly burst open and Yuki rushed in, letting it close behind her. Her face was flush as if she had run to his office. Her eyes lingered on him, observing the way his unbuttoned shirt allowed for a view of his well toned chest and she swallowed the lump in her throat. How distracting he could be.

"Yuki-chan?" Kenji stepped around in front of his desk, concern etched on his brow. "What is it? Is something the matter?"

She shook her head and stepped forward.

"I wanted to speak to you before you picked me up this evening."

He nodded, urging her to continue, sitting on his desk. Her eyes lingered on him, taking in every part and recalling every moment with him. She could feel it again…the heat…the rising fire.

"I don't want to go with you as a business associate's daughter."

The realization of her words washed over Kenji. The concern fell from his face and he stood up, taking one step closer to her, but not daring to go farther. She was fidgeting, as if she was about to jump out of her own skin. Her cheeks tinted slightly in her embarrassment, but she fought to push that away.

"Say it, Yuki-chan," he whispered.

His words, whispered in such a deep timbre washed over her and she felt herself move. She surged forward, knocking into the taller man, lips crashing on his as he stumbled back onto his desk. She kissed him in a way she had only ever kissed one man in a moment of desperation on a street corner before. She was starved for the affection he had to offer and she devoured everything he gave her, loving the warmth of the fire that erupted…the burning flames that had done nothing but smolder around him for months now.

His arms kept her close. He had waited for this day for so long it seemed. He loosened his hold of her, hands reaching up to cup her face, slowing the pace of their kiss down until he could gently pull away.

"Are you sure about his, Yuki-chan?"

She nodded her head, cheeks still tinged in pink. He moved his lips closer to hers again, unable to stop himself.

"There is no going back, Yuki-chan."

"No going back," she whispered in response as their lips met again.

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With the passing of summer came a plentitude of changes. Makino and Rui had left for a couple of weeks to visit with Tsukasa, an aura of coming change about them. They returned with news of Tsukasa's coming wedding…to someone else and Makino did not appear upset in the least with Rui by her side. It was only a matter of time. Akira was taking an even more active role in the family business, often running off after one phone call or another, but never ending a call with Yuki for work. And the largest change Soujiroh noticed in his friend was his penchant for married women. Those occurrences seemed few and far between, but not totally lost yet.

And then there were the changes within himself. No, Soujiroh was not about to lose any of his girlfriends, in fact he gained quite a few more. The largest change was the path to his future. The time he had convinced his parents to allow him off of school when he graduated was now coming back to him. Not only was he attending college, but he had tutors he met with daily in order to allow him an increased work load in order to catch up with Yuki at least. That would only put him a year behind where he would be if he had gone straight to college. Not bad, considering his parents had agreed to a year and Soujiroh had taken two.

And then there was the case of the motorcycle helmet that now sat in the corner of his closet shelf, visible to him every time he grabbed an article of clothing. It was black, but on the side hand painted in a delicate pink was Yuki's name. He had no plans of letting her on the back of his bike. It was simply a friendly gesture he told himself. A promise that one day he just may, but as the summer past, the helmet was pushed farther and farther into the back of the closet and Soujiroh found himself preparing for the day she would call his mother with the news she would not be returning.

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His fingertips gently moving down the soft exposed skin of the small of her back sent chills through her body. He felt her body quiver against him as he pulled her closer to him, shifting his body to lean against the back seat of his car, a black partition separating them from the driver.

His lips moved oh so slowly over her soft lips as if he were afraid he would break her. He relaxed back against the seat, the hand on the small of her back adding just a tad of pressure to urge her forward, the other hand resting against the side of her neck, barely caressing the sensitive skin. She offered no resistance to his touch or his gentle way of guiding her petite form against him. And as she moved slowly against him, relaxing into his harder form, her small hands moving up his chest and caressing his neck as she wrapped her arms around him, he felt the hunger grow.

His hands dropped suddenly grabbing her small waist and pulling her onto his lap, his lips breaking from her for only a moment, long enough to look at her, his eyes burning with a smoldering fire. Sitting on his lap made her just his height, sitting eye to eye, both of their breaths coming in almost uncontrollable gasps. His eyes lingered back on her lips, scanning over the soft skin of her neck, exposed because she wore her hair up. How many of these business parties had they attended since she arrived? So many. And it drove him crazy every time she wore her hair up. His tongue slid gently over his own lips before giving in to his hunger.

Her body was twisted to face him, pressing against him as she gasped at his sudden attack of her lips and neck as if he simply couldn't get close enough. One hand was splayed across the small of her back, the dress' design coming almost too low to be considered descent. She moaned into his kiss, loving the way he could simply suck away all her oxygen with one kiss and leave her lightheaded.

The hand not sending excited chills down her back, moved to his right, where her legs lay on the seat. Gently resting his fingertips on her ankle he slowly moved that hand up her leg. The split in the flowing layers of fabric on both sides of the dress fell away as his seductive caress reached her knees, exposing both her knees, black layers of fabric falling between her legs, her head bent to the side as he devoured every inch of her he could.

"K-Kenji-san," she gasped for air, grasping for her voice.

Her small hands moved, resting against his chest and pushing so lightly he wondered if she meant it. He pulled away.

"Yes, Yuki-chan?"

He smiled as his eyes danced across the tinted blush of her skin. His innocent little Yuki.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. Her world had been a whirlwind since she agreed to go to dinner with him. And he kept his promise. Nothing become of them, nothing beyond having dinner with a friend or seeing a movie as friends until she came to him. And then she discovered this whole other side to herself. A side full of passion and longing and despite knowing of the existence of such things inside her, she fought to keep a hold of her innocence. Sometimes she really thought she was losing that fight.

"Shouldn't we go into the party?" She asked, her head losing that lightheadedness now that she had air.

His perfect lips smiled at her and nodded. He waited as she used a mirror to straighten herself, wisps of hair had fallen and her lipstick was gone, red splotches lay across the skin of her neck and chest were he was trying to devour every inch of her, perhaps a little too roughly. He noticed her concern when she noticed this, her small fingers running over the very noticeable redness. He watched her for a moment, enjoying every expression she made before reaching behind him and handing her a silky black wrap that went with the dress…one that could cover most of his…attentions.

He escorted her into the party where her parents were more than likely already in attendance. The mischievous smile on his face could not be driven away and his mind continued to replay their pause in the car before coming in and the fact that Yuki had finally come to him. It was a couple months after her arrival before she did, but the simple fact was she did. She came to him.

Yuki was smiling and glowing in a way she had not when she first arrived. Where she was unsure about wearing such a dress before, Kenji seemed to build her up, help her in her confidence so when he handed the dress over to her, she had no doubts about wearing the beautiful dress for him. She didn't hide behind his shadow, wishing to not be noticed. She stood tall next to him, smiling and speaking when it was appropriate to do so. After all, she did remain silent when he seemed to be actually working. She was introduced to everyone…from secretaries to possible investors. Everyone knew Yuki was there with the brilliant upcoming Takahashi Kenji. Between talking of his work, setting up meetings and making new prosperous connections, Kenji danced Yuki across the floor, flowing to the soft classical sounds of the music. His touch relaxed her, kept the horrid memories away and created new ones.

She laughed again.

She felt beautiful again.

She felt whole again.

And she knew…it was time to go home, time to stop running away.


	12. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **Not mine.

**Chapter Eleven**

"Ma….kino."

Makino stopped her frantic overwrought pacing and looked at Rui leaning against a pillar in the airport, looking down at his nails. His eyes glanced up at her and smiled. He noticed the way her body seemed to suddenly relax and he stood up straight to approach her.

"She'll be here," he assured her.

Akira sat in a chair watching the exchange shaking his head. He could almost understand Makino's mad nerves. It had been so long since any of them had seen Yuki. Nearly eight months. His arms rested on his knees and his hands twitched in anticipation. Yes, they had talked on the phone almost daily, but it just wasn't the same. Hearing her voice on the phone only made him miss her more, but he knew she needed this. She needed time to herself…time to become Yuki again. His eyes scanned the airport quickly. Soujiroh was about a foot away from the row of chairs Akira sat in, two women by his side and that usual arrogant smile that always seemed to rope him in a couple more girlfriends. Some things just didn't ever seem to change.

As the plane landed, Yuki felt her stomach jump into her throat. She was excited to be back and scared at the same time. Part of her didn't know what she would do if Soujiroh was there with the others. She just spent eight months getting past him, rebuilding herself and not to have it crumble the moment she saw his face. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself, remembering Kenji's words when she saw him off at the airport only a week ago.

"I'll be waiting for you at the airport in Japan," he had whispered into her ear, sending chills through her body.

She opened her eyes and looked out the window at the terminal. She was home…she was finally home.

They all stood there waiting and watching each person that stepped off that plane and into the terminal. Soujiroh had already sent the two girls away with his number and now he looked just as nervous as the others. Still, a twinge of regret bit at him. The others got to see her off. The last time he had seen her, she dropped that chawan and swore to never let him hurt her again. The look on her face that day haunted him for eight months.

The Yuki that stepped off that plane was not the Yuki that had left on one. It wasn't the Yuki Soujiroh remembered seeing last in her room. This Yuki walked with her head held high and a smile on her face. Her eyes took in each face, not flinching at his presence. This was more like the Yuki that had stormed out of the room on him way back when Makino was first dating Tsukasa. This was the more confident, stubborn Yuki he remembered. This was an unbroken Yuki.

Makino rushed forward to hug her friend, Rui standing behind her to greet her and Akira stood there waiting for his greeting, unsure where their friendship stood when it could only grow so far via phone. Yuki stepped up to him. She lifted up her hand so that her sleeve fell back revealing the delicate platinum bracelet he gave her.

"Thank you," she whispered to him and then did the unexpected. She reached up on tip toe and kissed his cheek.

"Welcome home, Angel." He smiled, hugging her as he took the small bag she carried from her. "Let's get you home. Nishikado-san has been driving us all crazy calling every two minutes waiting on your return."

Yuki giggled and stepped to follow the path out of the airport. Soujiroh was standing there though, still observing this rebuilt Yuki. She stopped in front of him, everyone growing quiet wondering what would happen, if she would be okay. The seconds seemed like minutes. And then, Yuki bowed ever so politely.

"Nishikado-san," she said just as politely, not an ounce of hope in her voice, no lingering desire for attention…nothing. And then she stepped right past him, leaving him standing there.

It was an odd sensation when she did that. A strain of some sort in his chest. That hollowness that seemed to exist when she disappeared from his life seemed to grow when she treated him as nothing more than an acquaintance, if that.

Soujiroh turned to follow them when Yuki suddenly stopped. Something had caught her attention. Everyone stopped, heads looking up to see what was so fascinating to their missed friend.

The automatic doors of the airport had opened. A tall man, dark hair tied at the nape of his neck, swaggered in. He was obviously a businessman, his tie having been untied possibly while stopped in traffic on his way here and the top buttons of his white shirt lay open revealing a hint of the well toned chest beneath. Makino heard her friend sigh unconsciously next to her and turned to look at her almost amused and ready to tease her a bit.

She didn't get the chance to.

This man was so obviously in a hurry, running late, and looking for someone. But he didn't seem to look very far. The moment his eyes focused directly in front of him, his path did not waver. In quick long strides, he rushed up on Yuki, wrapping an arm around her to pull her to him and cupping her cheek in the palm of his hand as his lips crashed down on hers. A week was simply too long.

Akira and Soujiroh both jumped slightly, startled at the sudden ambush of Yuki and wondering if they needed to protect her, but she seemed to welcome his affections, giggling into the kiss at first.

"Next time," Kenji said in between kisses. "We take the same flight."

Soujiroh had watched this horrid display in front of him…this blatant disregard for the fact that not only were they in public, but this man was all but mauling Yuki in front of her friends, though Makino was smiling quite obnoxiously. Rui noticed the signs. The way Soujiroh's lips puckered in dissatisfaction, the way his cheeks seemed to suck into his face and the gleaming hate dancing in his eyes. And then, Soujiroh stepped forward and Rui had to act fast, reaching out and grabbing Soujiroh barely reaching him, pulling him back by the arm of his shirt. Soujiroh turned his glare to Rui, but by the time he turned back around, that man had already removed his lips from Yuki and Makino was shoving her way to the forefront of Yuki's little welcoming committee to meet this man, a huge delighted smile on her face.

His anger was so great that the words around him were muffled sounds of nonsense. It wasn't until Akira, who had been so quiet during all this, suddenly spoke knowing the man that had had his hands on Yuki.

"Kenji-san?"

Kenji looked up, recognition and realization on his face. He bowed his greeting and smiled.

"I had no idea the Akira-san my Yuki-chan was talking to all this time was you!"

Akira smiled in agreement. She had never mentioned Kenji, but he was not going to tell him that.

"Kenji-san," Yuki said. "You know Akira-san?"

He smiled down at her and nodded.

"Our fathers are old friends."

Yuki seemed to be working something out.

"So," she said. "Does that mean that your father…that he is also…" she wasn't sure how to say it, how to not sound insulting when asking such a question. She knew what a big name Akira's father was in the underworld of Japan.

Kenji smiled though, able to read her every facial expression and nodded.

"Yes, Yuki-chan. Our fathers are in the same business, but Akira-san and I are not."

She nodded satisfied with the answer. Kenji kept his hand on Yuki, whether it was on her shoulder, gently holding her hand, or wrapping his arm around her to pull her closer, he made sure some part of him was in contact, as if that alone sent a message. Then, his eyes landed on Soujiroh. His smile was gone from his face as he looked at this member of the infamous F4.

"And you must be the one that broke my Yuki-chan's heart."

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For some reason it was a relief when they all stepped through the door of the Nishikado house and Natsumi immediately pulled Yuki into a tearful hug, reminding her of how much she had missed the young woman. There was something satisfying in knowing that his family saw her as a surrogate daughter of sorts. It was as if the very thought and reality of his mother's feelings for the young woman verified his very right to still protect her.

But his mother welcomed Takahashi Kenji into her home, her eyes briefly searching her son for some sort of reaction to this man's appearance in Yuki's life, but she could find nothing. Soujiroh looked inquiringly at his mother, offering her one of his charming smiles that more often than not reassured her. His mother however was less skilled at hiding her thoughts and feelings.

Natsumi sat on the sofa, pulling Yuki into another hug, glancing at Kenji over Yuki's shoulder.

"This young woman is like a daughter to me. I've missed her so. And one day, she just may be my daughter."

Her eyes flickered to Soujiroh before setting Kenji with a cold look of disapproval. Finally, she released Yuki, smiling almost uncomfortably as she looked her over. Kenji chuckled slightly and pulled Yuki against him.

"I don't think I can allow that," Kenji said, silencing the room in a cloud of discomfort. His eyes flickered back to Soujiroh, a small smile on his face.

"I don't believe your son will allow that either," he added, pointing out what he knew about Soujiroh and his history with Yuki. "I believe that might just interfere with his…recreational activities."

"Kenji-san."

Yuki's voice caused a change in Kenji's facial expression. The cold hard look he had set Soujiroh with suddenly melted into a pool of warmth as he turned to look down at Yuki with a smile.

"Forgive me, Yuki-chan," he said softly. "The thought of losing you drives me a little crazy."

Natsumi laughed, quite uncomfortably, looking around at the young faces and standing up.

"I will give you all time to catch up and get to know Takahashi-san," she said. "There are snacks prepared in the kitchen and plenty of movies and such to entertain you." She bowed politely to the room and turned to leave them all for the evening.

She slowed down to a pause on her way out of the room right next to Soujiroh and Akira. Her eyes darted between the two boys before she set her son with a disgruntled look.

"If you are not honest to yourself soon, Soujiroh, you will lose any chance you had at happiness."

Natsumi swept from the room ignoring the mumbling sounds of Soujiroh's distaste for his mother's warning. Over by the sofa, Makino and Yuki were discussing watching a movie. Akira turned his eyes from Soujiroh. He would not watch the game Soujiroh liked to play with her. He simply would not allow it this time. He pushed himself off the wall he was leaning on.

"Yuki-chan, you choose…this is your welcome back gathering."

He despised being there in that room, sitting on the other side of Yuki, in the dimmed light of the TV. Kenji never seemed to let go of Yuki, keeping his arm around her as if afraid she would naturally drift away from him. There was something distinctly uncomfortable and bothersome about being there with them when no one else seemed to exist to them.

Had Soujiroh gotten into an accident on the way to the airport and he was damned to hell?

Akira sat in a chair off to the side of the sofa, eyes on the movie, but mind racing around all his memories trying to remember if there was anything about Kenji he should be concerned about. There wasn't much. Kenji was older than him. As kids, when their fathers would get together, Kenji and Akira didn't have much to do with each other, either do to age difference or the fact that Kenji always kept to himself. And as they grew up there was one thing about Kenji Akira remembered.

Kenji did not play well with others.

And then there was one more thing…one important point to Kenji Akira could remember, something that probably made him such an outstanding business man.

Kenji did not take losing very well, in fact, losing was not an option.

Concern trickled down Akira's spine and through his nerves. He turned slowly, eyes resting on Yuki sitting between the man that broke her heart and the man that could potentially break _her_.

But how could this be that cold businessman Kenji grew up to be? He saw his face in the airport. The panic when he first stepped in, knowing he was late, the warmth and relief on his face when he saw her. Even now, with Yuki curled up against him there was something gentle and warm in his face. Akira looked away. At least she seemed happy.

Yuki suddenly sat up straight.

"I'll go get the snacks haha said was in the kitchen."

At her words, Kenji looked up.

"Yuki-chan? Do you often call Nishikado-san, haha?"

She looked at him with wide innocent eyes and nodded.

"She made it very clear when I first came here that she wished to be another mother to me…though not to take mine's place."

Once again that satisfying feeling filled Soujiroh. Kenji turned back to the TV as Yuki left the room. He looked anything but happy. But still, it was just more proof not only to Kenji but to Soujiroh that Yuki was so ingrained into Soujiroh's life that she would never truly be gone. Even with Kenji around. After all, Yuki very comfortably called his mother, mother. And where that scared part of him into a nervous desire to run, it still stirred something, embellished the feeling that his displeasure with Kenji was justified…as her protector…as a surrogate brother.

Yuki didn't hear him come into the kitchen. Her back was to the doorway, facing the open refrigerator. It wasn't until she found the tray of fruit and pulled it from the refrigerator, turning around to set it on the counter for the moment that she noticed Soujiroh standing in the doorway. She froze.

"Nishikado-san!"

His eyes seemed to look through her. At the sound of his name, so formally spoken on her lips, he glanced away, eyes falling on a bowl of fruit. He picked up an apple, anything to not look at her, to not having that confusing amalgam of feelings stirring. He still didn't say anything to her. He heard her sigh and then go about her work, grabbing drinks to distribute and doing everything she could to ignore his presence in the room. When he heard her movement, he looked up. She moved so comfortably about his family kitchen. It was like she really was at home there.

Yuki pulled drinks from the refrigerator, eyes avoiding Soujiroh. How could he do this? How did he have that kind of power? It had been eight months. Long enough that she believed…hoped she was over him enough that his presence could not affect her. But his presence still dominated any room she was in with him. Surrounded by others that power was muffled, tampered down by the presence of others, but alone in that kitchen it was suffocating.

She felt like someone was holding a pillow over her face and she fought to keep her breathing calm, reminding herself how happy she was without him. She no longer had to fight and struggle to reach some level for Soujiroh. She no longer had to try to please him.

He was _nothing._

She turned toward the counter, reaching for the cabinet where the glasses were kept. She had only sat two on the tray in front of her when she felt his overpowering presence behind her. She automatically tried to pull away from the heat of his body, but found the counter she was pressed against stopping her. She could feel his body move as he reached above her, grabbing a glass and setting it on the tray in front of her, one hand resting on the counter on her right, his left reaching around her to set the glass down.

His eyes looked down at her still form. She didn't appear to be breathing as he pulled the glasses one at a time down, slowly setting them on the tray. She fought it. She fought his overwhelming powerful presence and refused to become the old Yuki. She closed her eyes, fighting to remember how she was hurting…how long she spent away from her friends to get past him.

Her scent was oddly intoxicating. It was nothing new, the sweet scent that always seemed to follow Yuki. Perhaps it was the absence of that scent tickling his senses daily that created a drug like reaction in him now. He closed his eyes and inhaled, slowly and deeply.

"I missed you, Yuki-chan," he whispered, convincing himself there was nothing wrong with that admittance. She was a friend after all.

Yuki opened her eyes and turned around, intent on leaving, but found herself boxed in between Soujiroh's arms and the counter.

"Let me go, Nishikado-san," she whispered.

With his hands on the counter on either side of her, he was forced to bend down toward her slightly; still she had to look up to look at him. Her words were whispered while appearing to look him straight in the eye as if her physical reaction would show him her defiance of his game, but her quavering voice did nothing but show her…fear. She feared him. And with that thought Soujiroh felt like someone had just dumped ice water over him.

"I just want to apologize," he said softly.

He watched her falter. Her eyes flickering around, looking away from him and settling on some spot on the floor to the side of them.

"I don't want your apology," she whispered, refusing to look at him.

Soujiroh could not take it any longer. Why wouldn't she just look at him and let him apologize? He dropped his right hand from the counter and reached out to gently touch her…to gently lay his hand across the line of her jaw and guide her back to him. The moment the skin of his fingertips brushed the delicate line of her jaw, she cried out as if he had caused her pain.

"Soujiroh!"

"Yuki-chan!"

Soujiroh didn't have time to even turn at the sound of his name. Yuki was tore from him, pulled into the arms of Kenji and she gladly clung to him as if Soujiroh was something to be saved from. The moment Kenji had her in his arms, safe and warm he reached out and grabbed Soujiroh by the front of his shirt, shoving him hard against the counter and keeping him there as he leaned into his face. Yuki watched, shoving the memory of Soujiroh essentially doing the same thing in her name once out of her mind.

"You touch my Yuki-chan one more time…you cause her any pain, emotional or otherwise and I will tear you apart with my bare hands and mail you piece by piece back to your precious mother."

One more good push against the counter and Kenji let him go. Soujiroh's temper was getting the best of him. When Kenji turned with Yuki to leave, Soujiroh stepped forward.

"Soujiroh," Akira said from his position by the door.

Soujiroh looked at him. Akira shook his head and waited for Yuki to leave the room with Kenji.

"I thought these games were over, Soujiroh," Akira said stepping farther into the room.

"I was only trying to apologize."

"I don't think an apology can fix what you've done."

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He tilted the small cup, pouring the liquid fire down his throat, wincing only slightly at the burning sensation that was slowly numbing with each shot.

"I don't like him," Soujiroh said as he slammed the glass down on the table in front of him, picking up the bottle and pouring more.

Akira poured his own glass of fire down his throat, not disputing Soujiroh's assessment of Kenji. He poured another glass as well and sat back. This was different. This wasn't Soujiroh inadvertently hurting Yuki…this was someone else. Akira remembered writing the note he put with her gift the day she left. Slight regret was creeping in. She wasn't ready to hear anything like that and yet he had written down his hopes on that little piece of paper, a piece of paper that seemed forgotten.

Soujiroh took a deep breath and laid his head back on the back of the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. The Yuki that came back wasn't the same. He didn't know what he expected though. Did he expect her to come back full of that never ending hope, still following him around? Did he expect everything to go back to the way it was?

If he was honest with himself, everything was back to the way it was before he had helped her get a bit of revenge on her cheating boyfriend. He was perfectly free to leave places with varying women without having to hear how he was hurting Yuki, without seeing that face…that fallen face of lost hope. He wouldn't turn around and find her there following him anymore. It would be like before he picked her up crying on the street corner. It would be like his life before Yuki had so abruptly become a part of it. It would be…everything he had hoped for all that time…everything he hoped would happen had happened. He snatched the glass off the table and angrily poured the fire down his throat, nearly throwing the glass back on the table.


	13. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **Nothing HYD related is mine...just borrowing

**A/N: IMPORTANT: **Sorry it has been so long. I lost everything in a crash and have relied on my LJ to retrieve it all. On a good note there is a new LJ Community! It is Yuki-centric (any version of her) or fanfic, fanart of any kind, videos, ect. Come post your Yuki/Ga Eul/Xiao you stories/art/videos and help our community grow! community. livejournal. com/ yukisteahouse don't forget to remove the spaces!

**Chapter 12**

He fell through her window onto his head with a resounding thud. The startling noise woke her, sending Yuki sitting straight up in bed. Her wide eyes looked down beneath the window, where the crumpled form of Akira was working on straightening himself back out, hand holding his head and moaning, perhaps a little too loudly. Yuki dove out of bed and down to the floor, urging his silence.

"Akira-san, are you okay?" She whispered, unsure if Soujiroh had returned that evening yet and not wanting to wake him if he had.

Akira's blurred vision slowly began to clear; as good as it would get in his condition at any rate. The first thing his eyes noticed upon looking down was Yuki's leg and the contrast of a stark white shirt against her bare thigh. His eyes slowly moved up, lingering on the open buttons as she moved forward, almost teasing him with a peek down her shirt, but never actually showing him anything. He shook his head. Did drinking always make him so perverted? This was Yuki.

"Akira-san?" He could hear the concern in her voice and the growing panic when he didn't answer her the first time.

"I-I'm fine," he stumbled.

Her forehead was scrunched in worry and disbelief as she kept a hold of his shoulders, standing when he did, unsure if she should let go. He looked down at her, noting the small shorts poking from beneath the shirt and pulled on the shirt slightly. She dropped her hands from his shoulders.

"So, this is where I left that shirt," he said.

"Oh," Yuki said, stepping back and blushing. "I-I can change and give it back, Akira-san. I…"

He placed his finger over her lips and smiled crookedly.

"Don't worry about it, Angel. You look good in my shirt."

He dropped his finger from her lips and she looked at Akira sideways a bit.

"Akira-san, are you drunk?"

His glassy eyes looked down at her in a way that made her uncomfortable. He never looked at her like he was going to eat her, but now he did. She fidgeted, taking another step back. He shrugged one shoulder.

"Not as drunk as Soujiroh," he said.

He took another step closer to Yuki.

"He's passed out at my house," he continued stepping forward, ignoring Yuki's discomfort or perhaps not realizing it.

"Maybe you should lie down, Akira-san."

"Do you love him?" Akira's sudden question stunned Yuki into stillness. Akira stepped forward again, but Yuki had not moved again.

"What?" She asked.

Akira stumbled slightly.

"Akira-san, perhaps you should sit down."

He took several steps back until he felt her bed against the back of his knees and plopped down, looking up through his hair at her. It had grown since she saw him last, hanging in his eyes when he leaned forward. She stepped forward, cautious of this inebriated, unpredictable Akira.

"Takahashi-san," Akira said. "Do you love him?"

Yuki stood in front of him, totally still. She didn't know how to answer that question. She wanted to say yes, yet there was something holding her back. Did she love him? She remembered the note that came with the bracelet Akira had left in her bag. Was that why he was asking? Was he hurt? Did he actually feel that way about her? She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came to her. She closed her mouth and looked away.

Akira reached out, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward. She stumbled through her steps, coming to a sudden halt when Akira wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her. She stood there, looking down at him almost unsure what to do in his almost vice grip. Kenji would be so upset.

He opened his eyes. Her arm hung down at her side, her other hand seemed to be trying to sooth him, dancing through his hair with her soft hushing sounds to accompany it. The bracelet he gave her, hung on her wrist, a delicate piece of jewelry, bought just for her. He unwrapped one of his arms from her waist and picked up the wrist, holding it to his face, inhaling deeply.

She still had not answered his question.

And she wore the bracelet he gave her.

He kept her wrist in his hand, keeping it held up to his face causing her hand to gently press against his cheek. And then she felt the gentle caress of his lips against the underside of her wrist before his body went limp.

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It worried Soujiroh.

He couldn't be sure Yuki loved Kenji, but she was so attached to him. Like he was her drug. Soujiroh rarely saw her. No one saw her much. Kenji seemed to monopolize all her time, keeping her busy with him so that she was too busy even for Makino. He had to admit though that his life had not changed much with her return. She was so preoccupied with Kenji that she did not notice nor care when he was out with his girlfriends. He even ran into the two once, he had a girl on each arm and she didn't even flinch. She barely graced him with a glance.

And that was fine with him.

His life was back to the way it was before she barged in with those tears. His life was back to the way it was supposed to be.

Rei giggled always enjoying the game and always enjoying being the one he would take to his home. The bracelet Soujiroh gave her for her birthday sparkled on her wrist and her soft whispers in his ear was enough to drive him insane. His parents were gone for a week, a combination of business and pleasure. Though, he was pretty sure his mother's pleasure would be spent at the shopping district. He ignored those thoughts, moving his lips along the slope of her neck and stumbling toward the door.

Once they stumbled through the door, Soujiroh pulled his lips away from her. He really didn't want to fall through out the house until he made it to his room. It was best if he could see where he was going and walk properly. But the moment he pulled away he heard it. At first he thought maybe it was in his mind, but Rei's eyebrow rose up only slightly, just enough to let him know she heard it as well.

It was a soft sighing whimper.

And it sent tinkling chills of anticipation up his spine.

There was only one other person staying in the house with his parents gone and that was Yuki. The very realization that it was Yuki making those tantalizing sounds turned Soujiroh around and sent him rushing to the kitchen.

He rushed through the kitchen doorway to find Yuki on the counter. Her book bag was dropped haphazardly in the middle of the kitchen floor between the doorway and the island counter she sat on. With the fall season came a slight chill in the air. The jacket she had worn that day was unbuttoned and wide open, hanging off one shoulder and her shirt beneath rumpled.

Kenji stood in front of her, all but crawling up on the counter. He was leaning so far forward against her that Yuki was almost lying on the counter, those soft whimpers coming from her lips as he seemed to hungrily devour any part of her he could reach.

Soujiroh's anger flared.

How could this so called man attempt to defile his Yuki in his kitchen in such a way? His Yuki would never have allowed someone to handle her so. And it angered him that this man she essentially returned with had turned and twisted his Yuki into some…other girl.

Something snapped in Soujiroh.

It only took seconds for Soujiroh to reach them. With one hand he grabbed the back of Kenji's jacket, pulling him off Yuki and with the other hand he grabbed her by her upper arm and thoroughly pulled her off the counter and away from Kenji, placing her behind him and not letting go.

"Keep your hands off her!" Soujiroh's voice boomed through the kitchen. Rei started slightly, stepping back. Soujiroh's nostrils flared and his eyes shot daggers of fire in Kenji's direction, his breathing less sexually excited and more incited to fight now.

Yuki could feel the tension pouring from Soujiroh where he still held her and her anger was growing. She jerked her arm out of his grip and stepped around him to stand between him and Kenji.

"What are you doing, Yuki-chan?" Soujiroh asked, reaching out to take her hand this time and freezing when she stepped back.

Soujiroh stood there looking down at Yuki almost confused. No, he _was _confused. She was so angry when he was around and a simple statement on his part seemed to earn him a tongue lashing from the petite girl. Though her tongue lashings were nothing like Makino's loud ones. Yuki's were softer, but her voice held a forced calm edge and her eyes would dance with indignant anger reminding him of when he first spoke to her about Makino and Tsukasa. He knew there was this side to her, but usually his smile made it fade away. Now, his smile seemed to anger her.

"Yuki-chan," he said in that voice he always used when trying to persuade her against her anger.

It used to work.

His smile was as flirtatious as it had always been even though some part of him had warned him that wasn't a good idea. She wouldn't look directly at him though. This was something he had noticed. She would look just over his right shoulder as if she was looking directly at him, but she wasn't. Her anger was being shot over his shoulder instead.

"Who I am kissing and where I am doing it is not your concern," she reminded him in that tight voice.

Yuki's eyes lingered over his right shoulder for a moment before her eyes shifted to the side landing on something. She had noticed Rei standing there, back against the wall as if she thought she was not supposed to be there. Yuki's eyes rested on the bracelet adorning her wrist. Yuki turned to look at Kenji, her features softening and the anger deflating from her voice like a balloon.

"Let's go somewhere," she suggested and Kenji nodded because anything Yuki wanted, Yuki got.

Yuki walked ahead, leaving Kenji lingering in the kitchen, his eyes not leaving Soujiroh as if he could read everything about him by keeping his eye on him for those few moments, but more than that, his eyes held a warning.

Yuki's pace slowed and paused before Rei, bowing politely in greeting and possible apology for the scenes she was forced to witness. Rei bowed politely back and Yuki moved to continue her exit of the house only to stop at Rei's words.

"He loves you, you know."

Yuki slowly turned and looked at the young woman she was always picking gifts out for.

"Soujiroh," Rei clarified. "He does love you."

Yuki laughed softly.

"Nishikado-san loves himself," she told the woman, pushing that bubbling well of excitement back down into the dark pits of her memory.

Rei laughed at that, looking down at the bracelet and holding up her arm.

"Do you think it is with me in mind that he buys such gifts?" She asked, leveling Yuki with an almost sisterly look. "It's always bought with you on his mind, Yuki-chan. Even if he doesn't realize it."

Yuki shook her head and looked back at Soujiroh and Kenji…both seemed in their own world, looks of distaste and both looking ready to fight.

"Kenji-san?"

He turned to look at Yuki, a possessive smile crossed his lips, his tongue subconsciously running between his lips as he pulled the envelope out of his inside jacket pocket and plopped it on the counter in front of Soujiroh and followed Yuki out.

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The men stood before Kenji in his Japan office. As always he held the aura of control about him, but it did not seem to touch these men with their menacing looks and unhappy dispositions. Kenji showed no sign of being nervous or even slightly concerned; his face was a cold mask.

"Tell your boss just to give it some time."

The men laughed.

"Our boss seems to think you've had enough time, Takahashi-san," the taller man said.

Kenji shook his head.

"Your boss is a businessman; he should understand how these things work…"

"Your contract says six months, Takahashi-san," the taller man, obviously the spokesperson of the two, said. "Your six months is up. The money will be returned by midnight in one week or you will have to face the consequences of your actions."

The men turned to leave, the taller one pausing at the door again to look back at Kenji and add one last afterthought.

"You should feel privileged he is giving you a week's warning that he will be collecting his money…one way or another."

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"You're not drunk this time are you?" Yuki asked with a small teasing smile on her face.

Akira chuckled softly and glanced down into his lap almost embarrassed.

"I apologize again, Yuki-chan."

She giggled.

"No need," she said standing up from her bed, abandoning the school book she had open there. "I suppose Kenji-san's sudden arrival was…shocking." She sat down in the window next to Akira.

They remained silent for a moment, Yuki looking down into her lap with a small smile on her face despite the guilt at springing Kenji on everyone so unexpectedly and Akira watching her profile. He was worried as well, just like Soujiroh. He had noticed how much of her time Kenji monopolized and how difficult it was for her friends to ever find her or spend time with her and yet felt so silly for being jealous. Shouldn't they all be happy that Yuki came back happy and over Soujiroh?

But Akira knew better.

He noticed the way she was. He noticed how she avoided Soujiroh at all costs and how she did nothing but argue with him when she couldn't avoid him. So if she couldn't stay away from Soujiroh she did everything to push him away. He couldn't blame her really, but that meant one thing and one thing only.

She never completely got over Soujiroh.

And with the hold Kenji had on her, what did that mean when she finally had to face that reality again? Yuki felt his eyes on her and looked up and smiled.

"What is it, Akira-san?"

He was silent for a moment.

"Be careful, Yuki-chan." Her forehead scrunched up in confusion. "I may not remember a whole lot about Takahashi-san from my childhood, but one thing I do remember is how far he would go to get his way."

Her tinkling laughter filled him with fear. She wasn't taking him seriously.

"Akira-san," Yuki said still laughing. "Kenji-san would never hurt me."

She stood up, still laughing slightly as she walked back to her bed and plopped down in front of her homework. Akira leaned his head back against the framing of the window wishing he could make her understand.

"Where are you staying for the party?" Akira asked staring down at her book.

Kenji's parents were throwing a party at one of their houses. Everyone had been invited, including the infamous F4 and this party, being out of town required an overnight stay in that town.

"At the Takahashi house," she said as if he should have known.

"Just promise me you will be careful," Akira said.

Yuki looked at the concern on his face and it seemed to run so deep, etching every line that seemed to form on his face as he looked at her. She nodded.

"I promise, Akira-san."

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Soujiroh held his drink in his hand and laughed at something Akira had said. Rui shook his head, his arm around Makino, keeping her close and calm. Soujiroh's eyes often scanned the crowd of party goers. There was no sign of Yuki and no sign of Kenji. His concern seemed to stir in his gut and he quickly squashed it, smiling alluringly to a woman just across the room, Rei on his arm and ready to add another for the evening. He had no doubt it would be like any other party he had been to. Before the night was through he would find some area of the room to be and the women would gravitate, latch on ready for the game, willing to play the part.

Perhaps number twenty-five was amongst the party goers somewhere.

Everyone was talking; everyone was animated and smiling and then Soujiroh suddenly noticed they…weren't. His friends were frozen.

A majority of the room stilled.

"She's so beautiful," Makino, for the first time, whispered from beside Rui.

Soujiroh, curious now, turned to get a look at what was so breathtaking. The curving staircase had the attention of a good number of the people through out the room. Soujiroh felt his heart pound oddly and his eyes were glued to the vision coming down those stairs with Kenji.

The dress seemed made for Yuki, clinging to her body, creating curves Soujiroh was unaware of. The flowing layers of fabric that trailed behind her gave the vision she was gliding down those stairs. The spaghetti straps of her black dress were so tiny Soujiroh wondered how they did anything beyond drawing attention to the smooth skin of her shoulders.

His hand tightened around his wine glass.

Yuki stepped off the last step with Kenji never letting her go. She nodded a small bow of greeting to someone. Her back turned to Soujiroh to do so and Kenji's hand gently moved across the bare skin of her lower back, exposed by the lack of dress in the back. Soujiroh felt his body shake in suppressed anger as Kenji's hands danced up her back and his fingers seemed to walk across her exposed neck, only small dark tendrils of hair dancing across her neck.

"Soujiroh!"

He blinked at the startled sound of Akira's voice and looked down at the empty wine glass in his hand. It was no longer whole. Shards of glass stuck in the palm of his hand, the stem of the glass skewed, broken clear off the beveled bottom and he seemed confused, unsure how or even when the glass had broken in his hand. Makino clicked her tongue sounding irritated, but her face screamed her amusement as she drug Soujiroh off, asking Rei to follow so they could get him cleaned up.

Akira turned his attention back to Yuki and Kenji as they approached to greet them.

"Beautiful as always, Angel," Akira said with a large sincere smile.

Yuki blushed and looked down. Kenji pulled her closer to him, his narrowed eyes on Akira.

"Yes, my sweet _Yuki-chan_ is beautiful."

Yuki felt the discomfort between the two. It seemed to be there every time they were in the same room together and Yuki didn't like it. She didn't have much time to think on it though. Kenji kept her by his side, never letting her go off on her own, never letting her go with her friends for even a moment.

Akira approached when Kenji appeared to be in a deep conversation with an old investor. He swiftly walked up to Yuki and asked her to dance. Her face brightened and she smiled, ready to accept, but with a sweeping glance at Kenji and his disapproving look he could quickly see the "no" forming on her lips. He took that option away. He gently took her hand.

"It's just one dance, Yuki-chan. Nothing we haven't done before. Let Takahashi-san work a bit and I'll return you to his side the moment the song ends."

She went with him, Kenji's angry eyes following, but still deep in conversation with the investor. Yuki giggled as Akira twirled her around playfully on the dance floor, his arms keeping a tight hold of her, keeping her close before his movements slowed and his head bent down leaning against hers.

"I've missed you, Yuki-chan," he whispered.

She giggled.

"Akira-san, you come to my window almost every night it seems."

He smiled, but kept quiet. It wasn't the same as being able to bring her to the café to meet the others. And when Kenji was not keeping her away from them, her avoidance of Soujiroh did.

Soujiroh stood off to the side, his eyes following his friend and Yuki on the dance floor. Akira held her the way he did at the Nishikado anniversary party, like a porcelain doll he was frightened of breaking, something that he cherished. Her head was lying against his shoulder; her eyes swept the edge of the crowd landing fully on Soujiroh for the first time since her return. He felt it when her eyes landed on his. He could see the physical reaction from where he stood. The way her breath seemed to stop, her brows furrowing in anger and then she shifted, lifting her head and turning it away from him, almost snuggling into Akira's hold of her.

Soujiroh's eyes shifted across the room where Kenji stood, watching, looking ready to kill. Soujiroh watched him for a moment. He didn't step forward. He waited for the song to end and watched Akira walk Yuki back to Kenji. Kenji looked barely in control of himself. Perhaps he wasn't getting what he wanted. He wanted Yuki all to himself, but these others were in her life, preventing that, stopping her world from revolving completely around him, though it was pretty close to doing that as it was.

Kenji said nothing to Akira, pulling Yuki away from the party, through a door and into the darkness. He felt he was losing control. Things were falling apart around him.

Yuki thought he just wanted to be alone with her for a moment. After all, it wasn't unusual for him to pull her into a darkened area and kiss her until she was lightheaded and breathing heavily. And he did indeed kiss her the moment they entered the darkness, his lips devouring hers so roughly the pleasure of his kiss was being drowned out by the pain of his enthusiasm and anger.

He backed her up roughly against the wall; her body hitting it with a thud she was sure would cause a bruise. Panic started to surge through her. She squeezed her hands in between them, pushing against his chest, but to no avail. He simply shoved her hands back against the wall and his rough angry kisses moved down to her neck, his hand roughly pulling the strap of her dress off her shoulder.

"Kenji-san, no," she pleaded.

He didn't appear to be listening or didn't care to acknowledge her pleas for him to stop. His mouth painfully devoured every inch of skin he could reach, one hand roughly pulling the bottom of her dress up.

"Kenji-san! NO!"

She yelled, panic coursing like a drug in her veins and Kenji stopped for only a second, long enough for his hard angry eyes to glare down at Yuki and his hand to fly back across her cheek, knocking her head to the side. The tears were instant as the pain shot across her cheekbone and Kenji wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him, roughly, painfully and walked the two steps to the door…the door that led to one of the rooms.

"No more games," he said with a rough voice of barely controlled rage.

He was tired of it. With her friends around his control over her waned. She would ignore his displeased looks and dance with other men; she would allow him to caress her in ways that drove him insane and then push him away. He was tired of it. And it ended tonight.

He opened the door and moved into the room, shutting the door with his foot, his mouth painfully assaulting her again. The tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Please…no…"


End file.
